Sticks and Stones
by CrypticMoonFang
Summary: Toph found out she was pregnant. Kinda dark; don't read if you don't like. Tokka. No flames accepted. First chapter short but others will be longer. Set in Toph's POV.
1. Chapter 1

~Chapter 1~

It had all been a stupid mistake. A stupid, idiotic mistake. And a drunken one at that... I thought it was juice; I could've sworn it was! But apparently it was wine or something...I still couldn't remember anything. All I could remember was the throbbing headache I had when I woke up next to some guy I didn't even know. Was he a bender? Was he friend, foe, or pervert? I had no clue at the time, and even now I still don't. All I knew was that a month later, I couldn't earthbend correctly. And I still couldn't.

But the bigger issue was that seeing was becoming a horrible problem. It was true that I had been born blind, but I had learned to see using my earthbending. Feeling the vibrations in the ground had never once been a problem to me since I learned how to do it. But now...now everything was fuzzy and messed-up. During my training sessions with Aang, I'd hit both Katara and even myself! On several occasions, Aang had to use his own earthbending to redirect my boulders so they wouldn't kill someone. And many a time, someone would ask me what was wrong. I myself could never say. My 'vision' was blurred to extremes; I couldn't aim properly anymore. It was far worse than standing on one leg in a swirling sandpit.

Another boulder whizzed right past Sokka's head; he nearly passed out from such a close call with certain death.

"Did I hit anyone?" I asked.

"No," Aang's voice answered, "but you nearly knocked Sokka's head off."

I whispered a quick, "Sorry..." and sat down on the ground. It was strange, I mused, this ground was solid rock! The more earth was beneath my feet, the better my vision. But the picture in my head was twisted and bent, meaning I was completely unable to construct a landscape or even the people on it. This was bad; I needed to know what was wrong with me, and fast...before I really hurt someone.

"Toph, are you sure you're feeling up to this? I mean, your earthbending isn't...well...accurate," Katara said, from a safe distance away from the training.

"You forget that you're talking to the greatest earthbender in the world!" I snapped back. "I'm the Blind Bandit, remember! Not even Twinkletoes here can beat my skills!"

"Toph, I think Katara's right; something's wrong with your earthbending," Aang agreed.

Oh, please...he'd agree to anything Sugar Queen said! "Actually, I think something's happened to my feet. I can't see right anymore."

I heard a shuffle of feet and assumed everyone was surrounding me, eager to take care of the sight problem before I crushed one of them. But it was Katara's voice that questioned what was wrong with my feet. I felt one of them being lifted up and thoroughly examined, then the other one. After that, I heard a sigh as my foot was put down. I figured that the sigh was Katara's, and that she was sighing because she couldn't do anything to help me despite her healing abilities. I was useless to the group without my sight.

"Well, I can say one thing for sure, Toph. There's nothing wrong with your feet." Yeah, that was definitely Katara. Had to be. Her voice was always so...I dunno, motherly? Sweet, kind, and a little candy-coated. But when she was mad, her voice was venomous. Angry, testy, and a little I'll-kill-you. Either way it went, and whatever her mood, I knew her voice.

If nothing was wrong with my feet, then what was wrong? My vision was completely off! I couldn't see a thing, yet I had the weight of training the Aang for his big fight with the Fire Lord on my shoulders! Maybe I was just getting sick... Maybe it was nothing to worry about. After all, these past few days, I _had _been feeling nauseous. Heck, twice I'd even puked. This was something that I could easily attribute to a stomach bug, so I did.

But even after lots of rest and Katara taking good care of me, I still didn't feel any better. I had waited for two weeks, and still wasn't myself. And my vision only seemed to be worsening. There was no way I could train Aang when I was in such a condition.

"You're still not running a fever..." Katara's voice sighed heavily.

I felt my eyelids lift but I couldn't physically see anything. It reminded me too much of the days before I had learned to see through earthbending. It was disturbing me. I felt weak and helpless and blinder than I'd ever been. I hated it, every last bit of it.

The waterbending nomad had stuck me inside a Southern Water Tribe tent. She had told me it was blue, like many of their creative items. But she forgot that I was blind and couldn't see color. I had no idea what blue was or what it looked like. It must have been pretty, though, because she had gone on and on about it. It would protect me. It would keep me warm. It would shield me from rain. It would do this, it would do that.

It was shameful to say, but before this tent, I had tried to earthbend a tent for myself. I always felt comfortable when surrounded by a bendable substance. To say the least, I had failed miserably. Not to mention Momo. I think I might've scarred him for life...poor little guy. I hadn't seen him around me for days, but the others insisted that he was fine and would come near me eventually. They also managed to patch up his left ear.

"Then I'm not sick," I told the waterbender as I stood up and walked confidently out of the tent.

I felt warm light on my face, and knew at once that it was daylight. The light was that of the sun's, and I smiled as prepared to try my earthbending. A small pebble, of which the color was unknown to me, rippled backwards and hit the tent. Thankfully, the tent stayed in tact, but the point was...I just couldn't earthbend anymore. Not even the smallest little rock would obey my command, let alone a gigantic boulder.

What went wrong? Was I losing my focus? Earthbending was literally the only thing that kept me alive all these years. Without it, I...I didn't know what would've happened. But now it was gone, just like that.

I tried unsuccessfully to fix the image in my mind. I found it to be impossible. Something was terribly wrong with me, that much I knew. But what? I had no idea of my surroundings without being able to feel the vibrations around me!

I sighed with heavy emotion. Somehow, I had this creeping feeling that this wasn't just going to fix itself.

**A/N**

**Yep, first chappie AND prologue (which would explain the shortness). Okay, so tell me what you guys think! Always open to new, creative ideas. Also, have any of you tried writing a story in Toph's POV? Not easy. But I have to say it was fun. **

**I know the summary to this story sucked, but I'd say the story itself was okay, right? I'm hoping to make each chapter better and better, so...yeah. That's all I have to say for now.**

**Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

~Chapter 2~

"Alright, Aang, just aim the boulder over there," I said, pointing unknowingly toward Appa.

"But Appa's right there," he protested.

"Then aim it over there." I pointed over to the camp, again unbeknownst to me.

"Um...that's the camp."

"Then how about there?"

"That's Sokka."

"There?"

"Katara."

"What about there?"

"Sokka again."

I threw my hands up in exasperation. But the rock is strong, it does not crumble easily. I was even stronger. "Then throw it in the air!" I yelled. Yelling usually worked for me, at least it did in my past.

"But then I'll get hit with it."

"Pretend it's arrow roulette!"

"But you might get hit."

I closed both of my eyes and tried not let anger overtake me. I knew he was referring to my current state of total blindness and my inability to earthbend. I was still his earthbending master, wasn't I? But, hey, if the boy didn't want to learn earthbending, that was his call, not mine. "Just take me back to camp," I muttered to him.

I heard the loud thud of the boulder as he set it down to lead me back to the campsite. Any other time, I would fight tooth and nail for the right to walk alone. But this time, I knew I would only stumble around and be really lucky if I made it back to camp on my own. I needed the group more than ever now, but they sure didn't need me. I was positive I was only slowing them down. Heck, I could hardly get on Appa without hurting myself! It sucked because someone always had to carry me up; usually this was Aang because he had his airbending to help with the extra weight.

I put a hand over my stomach. Something wasn't right... I felt nauseous again, but had no fever and definitely not a bug. "Aang, nearest bush!" I warned. Over time, 'nearest bush' had become my little code for throwing up. Nobody knew what was wrong with me. We were still pretty far from civilization, so we constantly argued about whether we should move forward or turn back to see a professional doctor. Katara had even suggested going back to my family just so I could see my family physician. The answer to that was obviously a no.

Even though Aang led me to some bushes, I still had to feel my way to see that which was right in front of me. And thank goodness! I felt a bush right on time, as though I finally caught a break. Most of the time I never made it, and ended up grossing everyone out. But they understood that I couldn't see, so I was safe from being kicked out.

It was me I was worried about, though. Here I was, unable to tell where I was and where we were going, upchucking everything I ate for lunch, and I didn't even know why. Maybe all the food here was bad? I was starting to lose it. It always took alot of mental chastising to keep myself sane. I wasn't going to die. We were going to find out what was wrong with me. And we were going to do something about it. But even after trying my best to convince myself that I was going to be okay, doubts never stopped rising in my head.

I repeatedly spat to get the taste out of my mouth. It also bought some time so I could recover from throwing up before we had to get moving. Good ol' spit. Anyway, I couldn't keep spitting for long. It would get old and people would catch on. I had to keep moving. I didn't want anyone to think something absolutely horrifying was wrong with me, after all.

But as soon as I stood up, I was nearly overcome by a strange feeling. The feeling forced me to hold my head, at very least. Was I...dizzy? Or tired? Or...something? Aang was talking to me, but I had no clue what he was saying. Everything started to look hazy, as if in a dream world. I pleaded with my body not to pass out, to stay awake at least until I got back to camp. But my knees buckled, and I felt my eyes close before the rest of my body hit the dirt.

I tried to get up, tried to move...but my body had literally shut down. I could feel my heartbeat slow down just as much as my breathing. Then I wasn't thinking at all. I had fallen into a dreamless sleep.

What I didn't know what that Aang had called out to Sokka, who had been wandering nearby in his attempts to gather berries for our travels. He'd called out and both he and Sokka had helped carry me back to camp.

That was where I was when I finally woke up. I knew this because I was laying back in the tent, whose floor I had become very familiar with by now.

I didn't know what time of day it was. All I knew was night and day; I never knew afternoon or dusk or dawn or twilight. Most people would think it sad, but I'd learned to live with it and move on. Despite sleeping for however long I'd been sleeping, I was still kind of tired. I had no idea what was wrong with the world... I was messed up, and that's about all I knew at this point.

It took me a few minutes to regain full consciousness. But when I did, I wasn't too surprised to find Katara examining me. What _did_ surprise me, though, was that she was examining my belly area. I didn't sit up, but rather, I let her do what she wanted. "I'm tired," I told her.

"I would imagine you are," her voice answered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Toph, have you, uh..." Katara cleared her throat before continuing, "...h-have you...you know..."

"If this is about something I can't see, then the answer is no," I said. "And to anything else, no, I don't know."

"Well, with this, I think I'll just be direct. I think you're pregnant."

The words echoed over and over in my head. Me? Toph? ME? "Th-That's...not possible... I mean...I... I never..." The rest of whatever I was about to say came out in an awkward sigh. Seriously? She thought _I_ was pregnant? No, no...surely there must've been a mistake! Me a mother...what a laugh!

"Toph, have you...you know...recently?" Katara asked me.

I laughed wryly and waved a defensive hand. "No! I..." I couldn't finish that sentence because images of my dumb drunk self flashed into my mind at that moment. I turned away from her, letting my actions speak even louder than any words I could've spoken. "...About a month or two ago, actually. But I got drunk by accident."

There was a deep, meaningful silence. I felt grateful to be blind right at that moment. The look on the waterbender's face was boring a hole into my back, and if she stayed there long enough, I knew I wouldn't be able to take it. At least now, though, something in my life made sense. My sick and dizzy spells, why I passed out earlier...it finally amounted to something, finally added up. It meant my stomach would swell and get huge, and it meant I'd have to endure the pains of pregnancy and labor. Then I'd bear a child.

"I didn't mean for it to happen, Katara," I managed to choke out.

I scolded myself for letting just one tear slip out, but I punished myself for letting the rest slip out. Life could be so cruel. I was born blind, for goodness sake! Could the universe just...lay off?

The waterbender stayed silent. It hurt far worse than anything she could've said. I knew what she was thinking. I knew what I would be called. I knew what my life would be like. I was trash; I was way too young to be with child. I made one little slip-up, and BAM, life got me and it got me good.

"I need some air," I said, excusing myself from the one-sided conversation. I ran out the tent only to feel the curious and worried stares of the two other boys there. I turned to face them, feeling the warmth of the campfire.

"I'm fine. I just need air."

"I can go with you, if you want-"

"No!" I hadn't meant to interrupt Sokka or seem upset, but the rock was about to crumble. I needed to get away, to a nice secluded place where I could think things through and figure out what I was going to do with this baby. The rock couldn't crumble in front of its friends. I dashed away without thought as to where I might end up.

* * *

It had been an hour. I had absolutely no idea where I was. I'd hit about a hundred trees, and felt my way through a hundred bushes. I couldn't find my way back, though. I was lost. It was damp and cold; I wanted warmth. It had only been an hour, but when you couldn't see a single thing...

I couldn't stop crying. The rock had finally crumbled. Crumbled into nothing more than fine grains of dust. I felt like nothing more than just that. Dust. I was hollow, an empty shell of the person I once was. I was blind and hours away from any civilization. Being blind, I wasn't able to tell what plants were poisonous and what plants were edible. Or even if they were plants at all. I couldn't see my environment. I couldn't pinpoint my location. I couldn't retrace my footsteps. I never thought being blind would be so frightening and debilitating. But it was.

It was like when I was a small child. My past was coming back to me through what was normally a blessing. WAIT! The baby, that was it! The baby's heartbeat... I was sensing those vibrations inside me, and that's why I wasn't able to see. That's why I still can't see. The vibrations from the baby's heart were obstructing my ability to feel the vibrations in the ground because the vibrations were _inside_ of me. It suddenly made perfect sense.

But it didn't change the fact that unless the baby's heart stopped beating, I wouldn't be able to find my way back to camp. I wouldn't be able to build a shelter or collect food. In fact, I wouldn't be able to do anything good for myself unless I happened to stumble across a small stream of water or chanced a village. I was more than ready to take my chances with a village after stumbling around in the vast expanse of the forest for a long hour.

I swore, I felt the baby kick or move, either one. Maybe it was hiccuping. So I laid a hand gently across my stomach to comfort him or her, whichever gender it may be, and cooed, "Don't worry, baby. Everything will be okay." It was how my mother would calm me down when I was younger. I figured this way, the baby would simply calm down at the sound of my voice and keep calm. I don't think it did.

I was lying. My feet were getting blisters, my body was running out of energy, and I was all scratched up from traveling blindly through the forest. I could tell I had cuts everywhere because I had a brutal encounter with a thorn bush only about five or six minutes ago. Those devil plants were no easy feat...

At that moment, I felt blood run down my face. I traced it, only to find that it stopped at a large gash on my forehead. How had I gotten that? I took the back of my hand and wiped it off. Truth was, though, I had no experience in the woods. I probably wasn't going to make it if someone didn't find me. I knew that. Was it time for me to give up and accept my horticultural fate? Whether I gave up or not, I didn't know. But I had to sit down and rest.

"Katara was right; I am pregnant..." I muttered to myself. Exhausted and sore, I laid down to try to rest. If I could sleep, I would lay there until I heard an animal or felt sunshine. That way, my body would be rested even if my mind wasn't. And in the wild, brawn beat brains anytime. The good news for me was that I had brawn, and plenty of it. I just needed to keep that brawn nice and rested and give it its beauty sleep. It was my best chance of survival.

* * *

Sometime in the middle of the night, I heard a twig snap. My eyelids fluttered open at once and I hoped that what I heard was Aang, Sokka, or Katara. Even Appa or Momo would be nice.

But the low growl I heard after the twig snapping suggested it was neither human nor a friendly pet.

"Woah... Take it easy, now," I whispered to whatever it was. "Surely you'd want a fair fight, right?"

"Where's the Avatar?" a masculine voice asked me from-to my surprise-behind the direction I was facing. Only once person would ask something like that...

"Zuko? ZUKO!" And I felt hope, despite the fact that he was the enemy. I wanted to run up to him and give him a hug, hoping he'd take me to a prison. Once I had the baby, I would be able to see and therefore, I would be able to get out. Until then, I would get free food and water, and maybe even the medical care I needed. "Zuko, I know this sounds weird, but I nee-" I stopped.

There was a familiar warmth near me. I assumed it was Zuko's fire. He was probably holding back, thinking I knew something.

"Where is the Avatar? Talk!" he demanded.

"You think I'd strand myself out in the woods on purpose? I'm lost!" I spat at him, whichever direction he was at.

"I know you can find your way back! You may be blind in the eyes, but you can see, can't you?" he said, more of a statement than a question.

I felt my chest heave with remorse for ever leaving the campsite. "I'm blind, Zuko. I can't see anything anywhere. Watch and see for yourself." I lifted up a rock at what I presumed to be a few meters away from me and tried to throw it at him, only to have it fly in some other direction. Either that or he dodged it. "If I'd hit you, you'd have a broken bone. And that's if you're lucky enough to survive."

"You could've been faking it." The woods made his voice bounce off trees. The trees scattered the sound, making it impossible to tell where he was.

"Trust me, I'm not going to be the bait in anyone's trap. I can't see anymore, Zuko. If I could, you would be buried under twenty tons of earth right about now. Besides, I'm looking for the Avatar, too. I need to get back to him before..." I let my voice trail off, realizing too late that I'd said too much.

"Before what? Tell me!" he yelled, making my ears ring with the sound of his voice.

"Is...is it okay if I just don't talk about it?" I put on my best smile, knowing it wouldn't work but wanting to try it anyway.

Silence was heavier in the forest than it was anywhere else. It seemed to cling to every part of me, including my heart. The rock had crumbled further. "I'm pregnant..." I whispered. I hoped he wouldn't hear me, but I knew he could. The forest was completely quiet, and any sounds made could be easily heard.

There was more silence, too much for my liking. But this time, I knew better than to run. It was how I got lost in this place, after all.

Finally, he replied. "What?" It wasn't an angry voice or a disappointed one, it was just a stunned voice. He couldn't believe I was pregnant.

I took a deep breath and prepared to explain the situation. But telling him where the Avatar was would be a traitorous deed. I couldn't risk Aang getting hurt, unless he was getting hurt from my training. No pain, no game. And Aang needed game if he was ever to be an earthbender. "I have to get to a village, but I can't tell where I'm going. I see by feeling the vibrations around me, using earthbending, but the baby's heartbeat is messing it all up. I'm completely blind. If I stay in the woods, both of us will die. I need your help, as much as I hate to admit it."

This time, after around ten whole minutes of nothingness, I assumed Zuko had run off in search of Aang. Made sense... After all, I was on the opposing team; with me out of the way, Aang would have a lesser chance of mastering earthbending.

"I'll help you." His voice came from right behind me, scaring me into a typical and steadfast earthbending stance. Everything near me was lucky I had refrained from using my earthbending on him, because if I had, no miracle would save anyone or anything. Stones would fly, boulders would crush, and pebbles would soar. It would be a horrible sight. I couldn't even see and I knew this!

He seemed to sense my unease with his closeness, and backed away a few steps. "If you really can't earthbend, like you said, then try not to get so uncomfortable with me near you. You're the one who asked for help, remember? I'll take you to the nearest village, but then you're on your own. I have the Avatar to chase down."

I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding in and nodded my agreement. "Fine. Just make sure I get there safely."

"Safely?" He let out a long laugh followed by a sharp intake of air. "Have you seen- Uh...nevermind. Point is, you look pretty bad. Did you tussle with a boarcupine, Blind Bandit?"

Tired as I was, I managed to widen my eyes. "You know me?"

"Everyone in the Fire Nation knows about the Blind Bandit. But no one ever actually thought you were really blind," he replied. Yeah, as though I, someone from the Earth Kingdom, was supposed to know that.

"Anyway, for your information, I avoided any contact with wild animals," I retorted proudly, "but I've been in the forest fighting thorn bushes instead."

I heard a snort, and knew instantly that he was trying to hold back a laugh.

"Yeah, just wait until you're born blind..." I muttered spitefully, "...then we'll see how well you do in the wild."

"Sorry, sorry. It's just...under normal circumstances-"

"NORMAL? YOU THINK I'M NOT NORMAL? I SWEAR, WHEN THIS BABY'S BORN, YOU'RE GONNA REGRET THE DAY YOU EVER SAW ME!" I screeched. The rock had truly crumbled now. Either that, or it was my pregnant hormones. I had been wondering why I was changing moods so suddenly.

"Um...we should probably get moving now," Zuko said nervously, eager to change the subject.

I nodded, still angry, and began walking only to trip over a rotting log. I landed with a thump, and as if that wasn't enough, Zuko helped me up, much to my disgust, and told me I was going in the wrong direction.

Once up, I made sure he knew I could still deal some serious damage by stomping my feet on the ground, using my earthbending to shake the soil underneath me. I did this for a good minute or so, just to make sure he got the point.

I think he nodded and I know he grabbed my arm, a little too rough for my liking.

It was time to finally get to safety.

**A/N**

**And another chapter, courtesy of CrypticMoonFang. PLEASE review and tell me what you think. And again, always always always open for new ideas, otherwise this story may very well end in just a few chapters. I can't seem to come up with anything good anymore... Enjoy the next chapter, which is on its way!**


	3. Chapter 3

~Chapter 3~

I couldn't help myself! I kept looking so weak and feeble, I just knew it! And I despised it... Every now and then I would smack one of my feet HARD against the ground just to remind Zuko of who I really was. Me, Toph, the greatest earthbender in the world. And the only one who could bend metal, on that note. The very ground shook with the sheer power I possessed, and even though I worried it might get a tad out of hand at any moment, I kept doing it just so I wouldn't feel discouraged and hopeless.

I could tell Zuko was getting frustrated with what I was doing, but I think he understood why I was doing it. I also think he respected the fact that I was pregnant, and everyone knew you weren't supposed to mess with pregnant ladies. That's because they were going through a hard time, dealing with alot of pregnancy symptoms. It was fair to say that I was taking great advantage of this.

I yawned as I attempted to stomp a foot for the billionth time that night. Or...what I assumed was night. I didn't feel the sun, so I wasn't quite sure. The ground refused to shake very much, and I didn't blame it. Both me and the ground were exhausted. Me especially, since I'd been woken from a sleep that I needed when Zuko decided to make his grand appearance.

"You should probably rest. We're still miles away from the nearest village," Zuko told me. His voice sounded sincere enough, but since I couldn't see, I also couldn't tell if he was lying.

"Don't tell me what to do!" I shot back at him. "I'll rest when I want to rest."

"Do you want to rest?" he asked.

"No, I want to reach that village. I've been told about lights at nighttime. They're supposed to be able to help us find it, right?"

"Well, yeah, but I can find it just as easily during the day."

"How do I know you won't sneak off and leave me abandoned?" I thought I was clever with that remark, but I was wrong.

"How do you know I'm leading you toward a village at all? How do you know that you aren't headed deeper into these woods?"

I didn't even have the energy to shrug my shoulders anymore. I hung my head and said, "Just go." If I died, so would my baby. I was never the kind of person to wish harm on a defenseless baby. I doubted Zuko was, but I've been wrong many times before. I had no choice but to place both our lives in his hands, and that really unnerved me.

"What's your name? Your real name?" Zuko asked as he tugged me slightly to the right.

"It's...the Blind Bandit." Close call. I'd almost given away my true name, but had caught myself right in the nick of time.

"No, that's a title you bear. I mean your name. You already know mine, how come I don't get to know yours?"

"Because you're the bad guy."

A strange silence lingered in the air. I was sick of these quiet moments. Hated them. I was already blind, but I didn't need to be deaf, too! I didn't have much time to think about much else. My pregnant body wanted and needed sleep and it was going to get it, one way or another. The vagueness came to me, followed soon after by the dizziness. No, no! I didn't want to pass out! I _couldn't_ pass out! Not with an enemy around, anyway! Again, I pleaded desperately with my body to be strong and hold fast. This time, it seemed to listen to my pleas. I managed to keep walking, all the while still begging my body to keep moving until the threat was gone.

"Are you okay?" I heard Zuko ask me. No, I wasn't.

"I'm fine, just keep moving," I quickly answered. He'd had every chance to abandon me, yet he didn't. At least not yet, anyway. He'd stayed beside me-well, technically in _front_ of me-and led me through what I hoped was a good portion of the forest.

I tried to stomp again, tried to show him I had strength left in me. I couldn't do it. The ground wouldn't quake like I wanted it to. It remained still and lifeless, despite my efforts to bring the life out of it. The only sound to be heard was my bare foot hitting the ground. I winced in pain. My feet were blistered from the long trek through the forest, and they'd hit various objects. One object happened to be a sleeping boarcupine. That incident had slowed us down by alot. Even though Zuko had warned me about its presence, I'd been unable to see it and had stepped on its quills. Not fun. It ran off instead of attacking us, but the firebender accompanying me had to pull out the quills one by one. Also not fun. And painful. Very, very painful.

But, even with one otherwise useless foot, we'd kept moving. I actually didn't want to anymore. I was tired of walking, and it was obvious even to Zuko.

"We can still stop and rest, you know. We can sleep under a tree for the night," he suggested.

I no longer had the energy to argue with him, nor the stamina to. "Sleep sounds good..." I mumbled groggily.

He let go of my arm, from which he'd been leading me by, and I took the chance to grab the soil under me and form a makeshift pillow with my earthbending. It didn't require seeing anything because it was just like taking a bundle of hay and putting it under your head, except this time you had to use earthbending to do it with soil. I didn't care about a blanket; I just wanted to sleep. I let my eyelids slide down and allowed myself to drift away from all my problems, as if my mind was ascending from my body.

I was positive that I was knocked out by the time Zuko came back from wherever it was he'd gone. I knew he came back because the next morning, or what I assumed to be morning, I thought I heard an animal only to find out it was him.

Freezing and wishing I had attempted to create a blanket of earth, I stood up and stretched. Several joints in my body popped, but I didn't care. It felt good. I held my arm out so Zuko could take it and we could continue our journey. Again, the thought that my life was in his hands disturbed me to no end. But if I was to survive, I had no choice.

After only about fifteen minutes, my stomach growled angrily; it demanded food. "I'm hungry." I knew I was stating the obvious, but I did it just to annoy the firebender. It didn't work.

He let go of my arm and told me to stay put and not to make a sound. I didn't argue with that kind of reasoning; I was still sore and scratched up from the night prior. But I couldn't help but wish that I had my special sight back again. It wasn't until now that I realized I'd been blessed with earthbending. It allowed me to see in ways nobody else could understand.

The familiar scuffle of feet and crunching of grass reached my ears; Zuko had come back. Turns out, he'd brought berries for the both of us. How did he know so much about survival in the wild? I had no such experiences, being as I was blind and raised by a rich family. Wilderness survival skills were left to the prepared, which I was most definitely not.

I quickly devoured my portion of the food. The berries had a tangy taste, kind of like grapes but a little different. I knew I'd eaten them before, but I didn't know where. Zuko, however, kept me waiting by popping in one of the strange grape-berries in his mouth, then chewing it thoroughly before actually swallowing. I waited with him only because I was blind. I literally didn't dare move an inch for fear of hitting a tree or worse...another boarcupine. He took his sweet time, I'll say that much.

When he was finally done, we got back on our feet, my arm becoming my only lifeline. I complained as little as possible, but had to stop and rest every now and then. Though my feet were used to the rough terrain of a million grounds and especially rock, they weren't used to hiking for hours and hours on end without a break. Plus, as an added bonus, my body seemed to recognize my pregnancy even more now that I knew I was pregnant.

"So..." Zuko began as we entered what had to be our twenty-fourth hour of traveling together, "what _is_ your name?"

"Just call me Bandit," I answered flatly.

"I'm serious. Don't you have a name for yourself?"

I wanted to yank my hand away from him and slap him in the face for even considering asking me that, but refrained from doing so. I couldn't risk two lives for the sake of taking out my anger on him. So, instead, I calmly replied, "Of course I do. But you'll never know what it is."

After a few more minutes of walking, the firebender asked, "What made you go with the Avatar?"

"Huh?"

"The Avatar. Why'd you join his group? You gave up being the Blind Bandit for him."

I hardly had to think to answer that question. "Truthfully, my parents never gave me any freedom, because I really _am_ blind. They were so overprotective that they hid me from the whole world. So I became the Blind Bandit. Then I got the chance to really see the world, to go places and do things I never could before. I ran away from home to teach the Avatar earthbending _and_ to be free. I'm happier this way."

"You gave up your family, friends, and home? All for the Avatar?"

"It's not something you'd understand, Zuko. Besides, until now, I never had any friends."

"Then how did you learn earthbending? Your father?"

"No. Actually, I learned it from badgermoles. I didn't know I was an earthbender until I accidentally used earthbending to create a hole in the ground. That hole lead right into a nest of badgermoles, and I learned how to control my earthbending from them."

"My mother taught me how to firebend."

"Neither of my parents were benders. My grandmother had died, so she couldn't teach me. But my parents hired a teacher for me."

"Why didn't you learn anything from your teacher?"

"I'm blind. My parents always thought of me as weak and defenseless. They told the teacher to keep my training on the easiest level, which was breathing exercises. I knew I'd never learn how to move a rock that way. Only an airbender could move a rock with their breath. I learned all the stances for earthbending on my own and figured out how badgermoles saw. That was my first real step into earthbending...and to becoming the Blind Bandit. I began to crawl around like a badgermole. I started sensing the vibrations, just like they did. Then I tried a hundred different stances, and I moved a huge boulder for the first time. And learning how to earthbend became a hobby of mine. Until I thought I was good enough to try my hand at an Earth Rumble. I won every time, easily. And I became the champion known as the Blind Bandit. Then the Avatar came along and beat me. I ended up joining him," I explained carefully.

Revisiting my past wasn't what I'd intended, but once I'd started, I realized it felt better talking about it, even though it hurt when I did.

"I haven't seen my parents since I left..." I finished, finding myself about to cry. The rock had crumbled enough, hadn't it? I wasn't going to break down in front of the enemy.

I awaited Zuko's response, a part of me hoping he would ignore me entirely and keep moving onward to the village. Another part of me wanted him to hurry up and say something, anything.

"My mother was banished from the Fire Nation. I never saw her again," he finally said. "But at least I had the support of my friends. You were lonely, and that's why you left. You were tired of the same routine day after day. So you joined the Avatar, knowing it would be a dangerous journey, to teach him what made you the Blind Bandit. Am I right?"

I rapidly nodded, wondering how he could read minds. "He's getting better, you know." I felt Zuko's hand tighten around my wrist, and decided it was time to stay quiet about that particular subject. It loosened after awhile, and I was grateful to have circulation running through my arm again.

I cockily punched the ground with one of my feet, and it quaked with my power. I loved the feeling of empowerment. It made me feel like myself, like a real earthbender, and more importantly, like the Blind Bandit.

"Why do you keep doing that? I almost tripped!" I heard the hot-headed firebender yell.

"Oh, you know. Gotta keep my guard up. If an animal is nearby, they'll run," I lied. I couldn't help but smile even though I tried not to. I knew he saw it. Not that I cared, but...annoying him was a way to stay entertained. It wasn't like I could watch someone dance. "Hey, Zuko?"

"What?" he said, a little roughly.

"What does blue look like?" I asked, suddenly remembering the tent Katara wouldn't stop talking about.

He stopped so abruptly that I bumped into him. I would've cast him a glare, but...well, being blind, glares never worked the way I wanted them to. I'd figured that out long ago. I thought it best to keep my cool and let him answer my question.

It took minutes for the firebender, but hours for me. In the end, though, he answered. "Blue isn't exactly something that can be described."

"Why not?"

"Well, it's...a color. You have to see it to know what it looks like."

So unless I could see, I'd never know what blue looked like. That was basically what he was saying. I had intended that question to be out of curiosity, not a reference or a reminder to my useless eyes. But it had backfired on me.

"It's like describing taste. Unless you taste something, you can't describe it," he clarified.

"I get the point. Let's keep moving. Sooner we get to the village, sooner I get out of these woods." I was tempted to add, "And the sooner you can get your butt kicked by the Avatar," but I kept my mouth shut. Zuko was helping me, enemy or not. Well, at least I hoped he was helping me. But I didn't have a choice; my only chance in finding help was with him. My only chance of returning to Aang and the rest was with him. I literally needed him to live.

I felt the now-familiar tug on my wrist, and I walked behind the enemy. I spent the rest of the quiet time wondering what would happen if I fought fire with earth. Surely it would be an epic battle, especially if the firebender knew how to control lightning, like Azula. But on the ground and in my territory, lighting wasn't going to help anyone. Neither would fire. If they stuck me in a metal prison, I would break out because unlike any other earthbender, I could bend metal.

After at least three hours, Zuko spoke to me. "It still amazes me that the world's greatest earthbender is blind."

I didn't know whether to be insulted that he would consider me weak just because of my defect, or delighted that he finally acknowledged my power. So I stayed quiet and kept walking. All I had to do was be a good girl until the baby was born, then I would be able to see again. And then I would find my way back to Aang, Katara, and Sokka. And Momo if I hadn't traumatized him. Zuko and I would meet again, and we'd duel it out; I just knew it would happen, and I couldn't wait.

"We're here," Zuko said suddenly, while I was still thinking.

I took one step forward and immediately felt the pleasure that was solid earth pavement. I heard myself sigh in relief and I wanted so badly to drop on the ground and roll around on the pavement. I really was in the village! Zuko hadn't lead me into a trap!

But I had a personality and an appearance to keep up. "Don't think this changes anything. Once I can see again, _you'll_ be the one who needs help."

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Blind Bandit," he said. His voice sounded distant, as if he was already walking away. "Just make sure the baby's safe. I don't want the death of a child on my conscience."

And so now I knew why he'd agreed to help me. It was because of the unborn baby. He'd known from the start that if left alone, I would have died, and thus I'd have lost the baby as well. He never wanted something so innocent to die because of him or his obsession with the Avatar, so he lead me through the forest and into the village for the child's sake.

Now the rest was up to me.

**A/N**

**Ayup, that would be the third chapter. Holy cow; this story's moving a bit fast, isn't it? Well, keep in mind that writing an entire story from a blind person's point of view isn't easy and it's definitely not going to be as detailed as the POV of someone who _can_ see. But understand that I'm doing my best here. This chapter contains about three thousand words of nothing but Toph's description of what she feels, thinks, and hears. I'd say that pretty darn good for a story like this!**

**Sorry, sorry...I'm rambling on and on... Okay, next chappie's on its way, so hang in there! Oh, and sorry for the slow update. Like I said, it's really hard writing in Toph's POV.**


	4. Chapter 4

~Chapter 4~

I sighed heavily once I was absolutely sure Zuko was far away from me. Despite his being the enemy, I kind of wanted him with me. I knew him, for one, and I knew that in this village, it was highly unlikely that I would ever find someone willing to help me. Girls like me, who were pregnant at such a young age, were considered disgraceful and an abomination to society. I wasn't dumb; I knew this. But if I'd stayed in the forest, I would never have found help. I'd have a better chance if I remained in this little town, at least until I could see again.

I turned around to what I knew was the main walkway and could only hope I didn't wander into the street by accident. I'd been told before that the walkways and the streets were made of the same material, but colored differently. If what Zuko said was true...if color couldn't be described in words...then I would require sight with my eyes to keep me alive.

Then there was the matter of wandering aimlessly through this foreign place. Suddenly, the forest felt safer so long as I didn't get myself too far into it again. But if I went back, I doubted fate would bring me another helpful person to guide me back to a town.

I was at a complete loss either way. Now that I was here, what was I going to do? If I went back, what was I going to do?

I was never good at keeping track of time, being blind my whole life, so I decided to relieve my stress after what I assumed to be only a few minutes of worrying by humming a lullaby to the unborn baby. It could hardly be called a lullaby, actually, but the notes just kept popping up inside my head, forming a really disorganized song. I wasn't very good at humming tunes on top of that, which only made the little lullaby worse. I think I felt the baby kick me. I didn't blame it if it did. I hated the song, too.

I put a hand up to my face, just out of random curiosity, to see the damage that had been done. The wilderness had dealt a good number on my face; I didn't even want to know what the rest of me looked like. Not that I could see it, anyway...

For the first time ever I actually missed Sokka's sarcasm. He always cheered me up; cheered everyone up, really. I felt like now would be a great time to hear one of his sarcastic comments.

* * *

**(Mid-story A/N: The summary said this story is set in Toph's POV. Well, it's true; the story itself IS set in Toph's POV. However, realize that the others are also doing things instead of rolling over and dying while Toph is taking center stage. So this is what they were doing for the time she was gone. DON'T BE ANGRY! This is just temporary!)**

Katara walked out of the tent with an emotionless expression plastered on her face.

The two boys turned to face her with curious looks. Their eyes were asking a million questions that they knew wouldn't be answered by Katara. Only Toph would tell them, whenever she decided to return.

It was Sokka the Oblivious who finally stepped up and asked what was on both his and Aang's minds. "So...what happened?"

With eyes of stone, the waterbender answered, "It's better if you get Toph to tell you. She knows more about it than I do."

Aang's mind was racing faster than the Unagi he once chose to ride. Worry always filled him whenever a friend was in distress, and it was immediately clear to him that Toph was indeed in great distress.

Sensing his worry, Katara knelt down beside Aang and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry so much. She'll be back." She smiled, but the airbender didn't seem to respond much to her offered comfort.

But when hours had passed, and there was still no sign of Toph or her wayward earthbending, the gang decided it had turned into a code-red situation. Though it was hard, they managed to wake Appa and hustle into the saddle, their supplies packed and readied for a long journey if needed.

"Appa, yip-yip!" Aang said. His words forced the flying sky bison to get off the ground and into the sky on a search mission. Appa lifted his massive tail up and jumped into the air, bringing his tail down to add the extra wind and push him up further.

They spent an hour roaming through clouds and winds with absolutely no success. They were about to call it a night, seeing as everyone was tired, but a flash of orange kept them flying. Could it have been Toph? Had she gotten into trouble with the Fire Nation?

Aang steered Appa in the direction they saw the flash coming from. But by the time they got there, the found on a tree only the black scorch marks left by a firebender. It had to have been Toph. It looked like the flames hadn't hit anyone; in fact, it hardly looked like a battle at all! There was a rock a little ways ahead. That was all the proof they needed. Toph had been here.

They all climbed back up on Appa and quickly made their way into the sky for the second time that night.

The rest of the night was spent searching and searching...with little to no progress.

"Aang, I know you're worried about Toph. We all are. But if we don't sleep and we actually spot her in the forest, we probably won't know it's her and accidentally fly right over her," Sokka said. "Maybe we should call it a day and get some rest. We'll continue looking for Toph tomorrow."

Reluctantly, and only after scanning the landscape one more time, Aang turned back to the campsite.

But the next day was no different.

* * *

I felt tired from all the walking I'd done over the past twenty-something hours. I slumped against the nearest wall I could find. From what I had heard, this wasn't just any village, this was where criminals were dumped. I needed to be careful, needed to keep my guard up.

I was blind, pregnant, and to top it...my earthbending could wind up hurting me if I used it at all. There was one earthbending move that few master earthbenders had ever conquered in history. I was the best earthbender ever, but even I knew that this move was dangerous enough to kill me. It was called the 'Dragon of the Earth' for a reason. It supposedly was a gargantuan dragon made of nothing but rocks, so you could summon it whenever you were on land. What made the move so deadly, though, was that you literally had to conquer the wingless beast. According to legend, the rock serpent starts out with a life of its own. If you beat it with earthbending and only earthbending, its essence will leave and you can control every stone in its giant body. But those were myths passed down from generations. I doubted the dragon of the earth really existed.

Besides, even if I were to try the move, I would definitely fail. And failing meant death. If only I hadn't tried the 'juice'... I always had the option to kill the baby, to make its heart stop interfering with the vibrations in the ground, but I could never do such an evil thing to such an innocent being.

So what was I going to do now? I couldn't see, probably wouldn't be able to get help, and was utterly exhausted from hiking for so long without much of a break. I fell asleep remembering the many times I'd tried to force my eyes to function. I'd tried poking them, waving my hands in front of them until my arms were sore, staring at nothing for the longest of times, blinking repeatedly, concentrating excessively hard until I'd gotten a headache, and simply moving them around. Nothing had done any good and my eyes remained stationary for the rest of my life, after I'd given up hope of ever seeing. I kept them motionless because it was a waste of my time to make an effort to move them when I knew all I would see was nothing.

I woke up and could feel the sun on my skin. It was either morning, daylight, or afternoon. It was truly impossible for me to tell the time of day, and I'd always had someone there to do it for me. Sokka had told me that he tracked the sun and moon and that was how he determined time. The only relation I could make was the sun; I felt the sun's warmth so naturally, I thought of the sun as moving fire that never came near me. But I had no idea what it looked like. My mother used to trace shapes on my arm when I was younger, a circle being one of them, to teach me patterns and shapes. Therefore, I knew what shapes were and knew that the sun was a big circle. In my head, I pictured a huge ring of fiery vibrations. That was my sun.

I yawned and wiped the sleep out of my defective eyes. I had no idea why I bothered to keep them properly maintained. Blinking, closing them, opening them...was all meaningless to me. If they dried up and dropped out of my head, I highly doubted they'd be missed. Maybe it was because deep down, I cared too much what others thought of me. Maybe I was too soft underneath. Maybe it was time I stopped caring altogether.

I let the sunlight warm me, since I still didn't have a tent or blanket to protect me from a frigid night gust. I breathed in and smelled rotting food. Disgusting...

I knew I had to keep moving. My feet must have looked horrible, but I needed to find fresh, nutritious food to eat. After all, I was eating for two now. And what really sucked was that thinking of food brought to mind the sensational taste of a radish. Man, I'd give anything for a radish right about now... Oh, crap, now I was starting to have cravings! WHAT NEXT?

My legs were beyond sore; it was tedious and painful just to get up. My whole body ached with immense soreness and chills from last night. But, for the baby's sake if not mine, I had to get food. Non-spoiled food, that is. I sniffed the air, but the rotten produce was overwhelming my nose. I had to get away from it.

I picked up one leg after another and followed a trail of darkness and blindness. Now I knew what zombies felt like. I felt broken, like a wild ostrihorse. Weakened from starvation, yet blinder than a mudfishbat! Only _I_ didn't have sonic waves to help me piece together a picture in my head.

I didn't just mentally slap myself, I physically did it. My face was left with a temporary stinging sensation. I could care less. I had to focus, not wallow in self-pity! Was the Blind Bandit really going to give up because of a little pain? Because she'd been separated from her group? No! No, she wasn't!

"Get it together!" I chastised myself aloud so it would have more of an effect. "You ARE the Blind Bandit. You WILL pull through. You will NOT give up!"

It gave me motivation for all of...about five minutes. I soon realized I was limping. I was trying to lean my weight on my other foot because I had twisted my ankle...more than once. It was the same foot that had come into contact with the sleeping boarcupine. It also might've gotten infected, because when I stopped to feel the damage done to it, I felt some kind of gunky liquid coming out. I couldn't tell if it was blood or pus. My other foot had blisters and scabs, but nothing was wrong with it. So I had to let my one lame foot heal before I could afford to lean too much weight on it.

I was struggling, I realized, to survive.

By the middle of what I assumed to be day, my eyes were half closed and I was half asleep. And once the sun went down for the night...well, that's when things got really rough.

I felt the chilling winds biting at my aching joints and especially my injured foot. Who was I kidding, anyway? I wasn't going to last here! No one would be willing to help me; not in a town where criminals were ditched at. I found my way to the nearest wall, which, over time, would become my only safe haven until I woke up.

That was how the entire week went by. To top it, I'd only found a few things to eat over that course of time. The sun went up, the sun went down...and I was lucky to find any edible food. I never could seem to find shelter, though. So my nights were spent huddled against walls of building that I couldn't ever really know what they were. I would freeze almost to death, then wait for the sun to warm me in the mornings.

More than once, someone recognized me as either the Blind Bandit or the girl who traveled with the Avatar. They were cruel to me. Anyone who recognized me as the girl who traveled with the Avatar claimed to be Aang so I would come with them. For the first few days, I believed most of them, because over time the voices became all remarkably similar. Then I couldn't even remember Aang's voice or Katara's voice...or even Sokka's voice. Appa's rumbling and Momo's little growl were also lost to me, for I had to evade numerous animals in the night and even in the day.

Anyways, whenever I went with those who claimed to be my friends, I would end up being forced to drink a strange liquid since I was too weak to fight back. The next morning I'd end up back on the streets trying to recall a memory so hazy that I couldn't make out what it was. But I had a good enough idea of what they'd done to me that night. And when I finally realized that Aang had probably moved Appa and the rest far away from me by now, I started running from those impostors. That did me no good. The sadists hunted me down, pinned me down, and raped me. After they were done I was left on the streets to fend for myself...again.

I woke up, knowing just what I'd have to deal with. I knew that using earthbending to fight was futile. Using my own strength to fight was stupid and a waste of needed energy. I knew by now that I'd wandered deep into the bad side of the bad town. And I also knew that I couldn't find my way back without a guide. Running was my only option, and even that didn't always work. In fact, it worked about twenty-five percent of the time.

I heard the door to a nearby building open and my eyes shot open as I wondered what would happen to me. The very next thing I knew, two arms grabbed me and I was blindfolded. I heard arguing, and eagerly listened in to steel myself for whatever fate they had in store for me.

"I'm telling you, she's blind!" a man's rough voice grumbled as he shoved me inside someplace or under something. The sunlight wasn't warming me; it was suddenly colder. So I assumed I was in a building.

"It's a cover; she just wants you to think that," another man shot back. This man seemed hot-tempered and easy to anger. This was bad on my part...

"I _am_ blind!" I spat at them. Apparently, these morons wouldn't know reality if it hit them upside the head.

"See? If she were blind, she wouldn't have left the Avatar to come here," the second man said, as if giving irrefutable proof that my eyes were fully functional.

"Urgh..." I groaned. "I _stumbled_ here by accident."

"Shut up! Nobody told you to speak, little missy," the first man growled.

I obeyed, much to my disgust, and quieted down. Causing a ruckus wouldn't do me any good. I'd tried it before and had gotten beaten because of it. I was sure I had the bruises to prove it; my body screamed whenever I touched certain spots, such as my upper arm or cheeks. I didn't know what they wanted from me, only that I was going to be used then dumped back onto the harsh, unforgiving streets. Was it really too late to go back to the forest?

I felt a cloth rag being shoved into my mouth, and I thought I knew what was going to happen next. But I was wrong...I was horribly wrong.

I was thrown to the ground, laying on my stomach. Both men were on each side of me, holding down my hands. This only confused me. Another man, someone else that I hadn't heard talking or someone that had just walked in without my knowing about it, sat on my legs. This confused me more. Was this some kind of strange ritual or something?

**A/N**

**Yay, cliffie! I know you all hate cliffies, but that's what you get for not reviewing! Also, for the next chapter, some of you may be VERY disturbed so READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. You're now reading this at your own risk. As you can now see, I'm one of those authors that love to torture their characters. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.**

**Also, if you want this story to continue, REVIEW. I would love to have the encouragement to help me out here. And of the hundreds of you who read this, only three or four of you review! What's with that? **

**Thank you for taking time to read this, anyway, though. **


	5. Chapter 5

~Chapter 5~

The man pinning down my legs leaned forward and pulled down the collar of my shirt just far enough to expose the nape of my neck.

The very next sensation I felt was the most terribly painful thing I've ever felt in my life, like a thousand suns exploding on the skin of my back. My scream of pure agony was muffled by the cloth rag in my mouth, but I was a screamer by nature and nothing could mute that.

I suddenly realized what kind of horror they were doing to me, but only after they took the hot metal off my flesh. I'd just been branded. I felt fresh blood running down the nape of my neck and onto my shoulders, pooling around my body. My tears followed, in spite of my efforts to be strong.

"It hurts..." I tried to sob through the rag. I didn't know how many times I tried to get up and run, but I knew that every time I tried, I was held down mercilessly by the three men weighing me down. I tried everything I could to get up and get out, but nothing would work. No matter how much I struggled and squirmed, their weight far surpassed my strength.

After awhile, I finally stopped bleeding. But the pain remained. I laid on the floor, or what I guessed was the floor, and closed my eyes to try to block out the burning agony. But my body and mind refused to focus on anything else but the searing sensation on my neck. It wasn't as bad as before, but it still hurt. Now I knew what Hell felt like. Now I could hate it even more.

The men got off me, but I still laid there, feeling broken both physically and mentally. Had I not been through enough? When was I finally going to die? Anything had to be better than this... I didn't dare even twitch a finger. They still had the brand in my presence; I could feel its warmth.

I felt both cloths being removed, but it made no difference for my eyes. My mouth was dry and felt like an arid desert, but I wasn't about to tick anyone off by saying that.

"YOU IDIOTS!" I heard a new man scream. I assumed he was their boss or superior. "This girl is blind! She can't work here! Nobody's going to pay for her!"

Another meaningless argument ensued, but I didn't intend to become a part of it this time. I just listened for my opportunity to run.

"It's a cover, boss, I swear!"

"It's no cover! Just look at her eyes! Murky, no real color, and a slight ring around them. That's blind!"

"But I'm sure people would pay-"

"No, they won't! Get her out of here!"

I felt myself being hefted up by two very buff men. I was then literally _thrown_ onto the streets. I was never happier to experience such a great deal of cold chills in my life. Back on the stone streets, where I would spend the remainder of my life. And I probably wouldn't live very long if I couldn't find food. Water was frequently a problem, but now I had absolutely no fat to burn.

I reached up slowly to feel my ribcage. It was sticking out. It made me feel like a skeleton with flesh. But then...that's all I was at this point. Nobody would come to help me; I would die out here, and so would my baby.

I used what little willpower I had left in me to get up off the ground and try to find either food or shelter. I doubted I would find shelter, but I needed food more than I needed water right now. Besides, it rained two days ago. I could probably find a little puddle or something.

And it turned out to be my lucky day! After an hour of searching, I found a whole apple! It didn't take long for that whole apple to be diminished into nothing more than the stem. I felt nauseous after eating, since I hadn't eaten in awhile and therefore my stomach had become unaccustomed to having food in it, but I forced myself to hold down the food for the sake of myself and my baby. I needed the nutrients of the apple, or else I would never have the slightest chance of surviving in this cold, unforgiving place.

But now I needed water. It was true that the apple provided some fluids, but it wasn't enough. I needed actual water, preferably cold. However, I'd settle for anything right now! Be it hot, cold, muddy, or fresh.

As I slid my feet around the path I walked on, I reached up to feel the mark left on my neck. I winced and almost lost all my food from the unbearable pain. Now I knew why criminals were dumped here; this village was a prison in itself! It was surrounded by nothing but miles and miles of forest and wild, hungry animals. Nobody made it out of here alive, and I doubted I'd be the first.

A whole month passed by. In total, that made a month and a week. But I no longer kept track of the days. Somehow, right when my body was about to reach its limit, I would find little scraps of food. I didn't care if it was rotten anymore. I needed something with substance in my mouth. Water wasn't much of a problem; it rained often here.

I'd completely given up on Aang's arrival. In fact, I'd completely given up on anyone's help. The only thing I could afford to focus on right now was finding food and water, then trying to sleep to conserve energy. Sleeping usually didn't work out the way I planned since there were still those that tried to get me to drink a weird liquid. I still didn't know what the heck that stuff was or what it was made of. All I knew was that after I drank it, I passed out and woke up with memories beyond my recollection. And worse still, I stayed on the streets. I couldn't find a home.

Then there were those who chased me down and raped me. I was sick of and ready to give up on life itself, but I didn't have the heart. If I gave up now, my baby would die before it was born...and I just couldn't do that to a child.

"You've gone soft, Toph. You'll die because of this baby," I'd once told myself. Yet I couldn't bring myself to kill it or even try to kill it. It was too cruel...

Life was too cruel...

Fate was too cruel...

Destiny was too cruel...

I waited patiently for the sun to warm me up. It seemed to take an eternity before I finally felt warm enough to move around. My feet still had blisters on them, but my one bad foot still hadn't healed yet. I didn't know why. I kept limping so I wouldn't have to feel any unnecessary pain. Leaning on a wall often helped.

I got up and started another day. It was the same thing over and over. Try to find food, try to find water, sleep, hope you live to see the next day, wake up, try to find food, try to find water... It never seemed to end. And I was pretty sure that somewhere in between finding food and water was 'get pounced'.

I sighed and forced myself to keep breathing. I did it for the child. If it were up to me, I would've died long ago. My mind had gone away from me a long time ago already, probably two weeks ago, but like I said, I wasn't counting anymore. Now my body ran on instinct and was fueled by...well, I had no clue. I hadn't eaten in days. I had to find food soon.

The only logic I knew now was that I had to live. Once the baby was born, I would be able to see again. I would find food no problem. But until then...I had to survive.

I didn't know what caused me to think the forest was so bad. I thought nothing could possibly get any worse. I was proven horribly wrong, and had been trying futilely to find my way back to the forest. If worst came to shove, I would eat leaves and twigs. At least it was something...here there was nothing. For me, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I should never have run away; it was a stupid thing to do.

I didn't dare stomp a foot on the ground to cause a minor earthquake. It would only alert predators. I couldn't keep expending this kind of energy.

* * *

Appa's voice rumbled throughout the vicinity of the forest.

"I know, boy. I'm tired, too," the airbender replied.

"Aang...I don't think we're going to find her," Sokka said.

Despite their efforts, all they'd ever found in that forest was wild, hungry animals and nothing but green. Green leaves, green plants, green animals...it was crazy!

"I think Sokka's right, Aang," Katara agreed. "We aren't going to be able to find her in these woods. Especially not with our supplies so low."

"There's a village at the center of this forest. We'll get some more supplies, and then we'll keep looking. I _know_ she's out there," Aang protested. "Besides, Toph is our friend; we can't just abandon her."

* * *

I felt my way alongside a wall. I'd noticed a few days ago that walking was becoming more difficult. This couldn't be good.

I stumbled into another passing stranger and braced myself...literally. My whole body tensed up and my expression was without emotion.

"Hi, I'm Aang."

Oh, crap...

"Is that you, Toph? I've been looking for you! Geez, you're so skinny, though. Here, come with me and we'll get something to eat."

I knew it wasn't Aang. I wasn't stupid. I felt a hand wrap itself around my wrist and I struggled to get free. It was useless. The man had a strong grip on me. Well, it was either a strong grip or I was too weak.

"You're not Aang! Lemme go!" I shouted in frustration.

Earthbending wouldn't help me. Not now, anyways. I'd used it before, but every time I tried to create a rock or wall or something to at least slow them down, I ended up running into it head-on. It had ended up hurting me.

I pulled back with all the power I had in me, but I couldn't break free. The mysterious person dragged me onward, making various turns and twists.

"You're not Aang..." I whispered angrily. Tears threatened to fall, but I refused to let them. I was absolutely sick of these impostors! Pretending to be people they weren't just so they could get close to me...it was disgusting.

I was thrown against a wall and my arms were pinned above my head by the wrists.

I knew I shouldn't have felt what came next, but I did. Every movement, every twitch. And it hurt so bad I could never describe the pain. I normally would've gone down kicking and screaming. But my strength was drained. I just didn't have it in me anymore. He had his way with me, just as everyone did. I tried to scream but was rewarded with a slap across the face.

And when he was done, he left. I knew this because I could hear the footsteps retreating. They were getting farther and farther away.

I slumped down and curled into a ball, wishing I could hurry up and die.

I decided I would try to sleep it off. To stay warm, I hugged my knees and lowered my head, letting my breath warm my belly.

I was just about to drift off when a voice pulled me back to reality. "Hey, have you seen..." it trailed off, and I guessed he had mistaken me for a different person. But the person didn't leave. He stayed; in fact, he came closer!

"Go away..." I mumbled, knowing it would do me no good.

"Toph...is that really you?"

I stood quickly at my name and pressed myself up against the wall I was trying to sleep next to. "What are you going to do with me? Did you come back for seconds?" I spat.

Though I talked big, when I heard a footstep echo through the alley, I cringed and whimpered.

"Toph, it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you..."

I didn't believe a single word of what he said. Too many people had already said that to me; I'd ended up getting hurt by each one.

"Wh-What happened to you...?"

I didn't answer back; I just wanted him to hurry up and be done with me so I could go to sleep. But when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I jerked back and desperately wanted to run away. Only...I had no clue where to run.

"Toph, it's me. It's Sokka. Remember?" he persisted.

"Just give me the stupid drink..." I growled lowly.

"Drink? What drink? C'mon, we need to get you back to the camp," he said urgently.

"The camp? What is that? Is it a club or a bar? Just do it here!" I yelled.

"Do what here?"

"What do you think?" I heard the man take a step back and shouted at him.

"Wait here, Toph. I'll be back in a little bit," he said.

* * *

**(Mid-story A/N: 'Kay, so this is what the gang was doing...well, Sokka more specifically...while I was writing the story in Toph's POV. Enjoy and remember that it's temporary!)**

"I dunno...maybe she made it here. It's worth a shot, since it's the one place we haven't checked yet," the waterbender suggested.

"How are we going to find her in such a big village? I mean, all the buildings here look the same," Aang pointed out to everyone.

The group thought silently for a few moments. They heard a half-scream and the sound of a slap, but didn't bother to check it out. This village was home to all kinds of disgusting perverts and harmful fighting criminals. They could figure that much out the moment they'd gotten here. Even Appa hadn't liked this place. No one blamed him.

"Okay, I'll stay where I am while Aang takes the skies. Sokka, you'll take the ground and places Aang can't reach from the air, like inside buildings and such. If either of you spots Toph, come get me. I'll use my waterbending to create an ice pole, that way you'll know where I am," Katara supplied.

Katara moved her hands over the canteen she carried and forced the water out in a steady stream. She evened out the water vertically and froze it, forming the promised ice pole.

Both the boys exchanged short, meaningless glances before Aang jumped effortlessly onto a rooftop and hopped onto his now-open glider to begin his search from the sky. Sokka turned in the opposite direction the airbender had gone in and walked forward. He decided to start with the place where he assumed the scream had come from.

He walked a long way in the same direction, occasionally turning back and going in a different direction. He often looked back to make sure he could still see his sister's ice pole.

He finally came across an alley that resided in between two buildings. It was dark and stale and smelled putrid. But there was a pedestrian in the alley that might be able to help him, and he forced himself to walk in it.

"Hey, have you seen..." his voice trailed off as he got close enough to make out the form of the pedestrian. She was all skin and bones, but her figure remained pretty much the same. She was also wearing her trademark clothes that she wore when they first met her. Toph.

"Go away..." she mumbled.

"Toph...is that really you?" Sokka asked, disbelief written all over his face. He couldn't accept that this girl was the strong, arrogant, and stubborn Toph they'd all come to love. This girl was covered head to pinkie toe in nothing but bruises and wounds and dried blood.

The earthbender stood up and pressed herself tightly against the wall behind her, as if scared. "What are you going to do with me? Did you come back for seconds?" she spat.

The Water Tribe warrior didn't know what had happened to make her the way she was now, but she'd obviously been through alot. He took a single step forward, still hardly believing his eyes. There was just no way this could truly be Toph...

As soon as the step echoed in the alley, the bender cringed and began to whimper, he assumed with the hopes that he wouldn't hurt her.

"Toph, it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you..." he cooed to her. "Wh-What happened to you?"

Toph didn't answer the question, she only stayed in her position and kept whimpering.

Sokka put a hand on her shoulder as a friendly gesture of kindness, but she must've taken it the wrong way, because she jerked away from him and the look in her blind eyes suggested her fear and readiness to flee.

"Toph, it's me. It's Sokka. Remember?" he persisted, hoping she would respond to the mention of his own name, if nothing else.

Toph turned her head just slightly and growled lowly, "Just give me the stupid drink..."

Puzzled, the warrior asked, "Drink? What drink?" Then he realized she might be delirious. "C'mon, we need to get you back to the camp."

"The camp? What is that? Is it a club or a bar? Just do it here!" the master earthbender yelled.

"Do what here?"

"What do you think?"

Sokka took one step back, ready to run back to Katara and tell her the bittersweet news about Toph. "Wait here, Toph. I'll be back in a little bit."

The warrior ran as fast as he possibly could toward the ice pole, not forgetting the path he took to get to Toph. It truly killed him to see her in such a weak and distrustful state. She didn't even recognize him! How could she not recognize him?

"KATARA!" he shouted when he got to the building his sister was standing by. "I found her! I found Toph!"

Aang seemed to come in right on cue, landing near the wooden shack with no sound, but wind cushioning him.

"Where?" he asked.

Sokka breathlessly lead them back to where he'd last seen Toph.

**A/N **

**Fast update! Yay! Has anyone but me noticed that this entire time, I've been setting up the story so that anyone could fall in love with Toph? XD I'll let that simmer in your mind for a little bit. **

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I'M DESPERATE HERE!**


	6. Chapter 6

~Chapter 6~

If that poser wanted to pretend he was Sokka, that was fine. But I was _not_ going to wait to be raped! It was like paying for moldy food; I wouldn't do it. I doubted any girl would...

I yawned tiredly as I walked down the street. The buildings all felt the same. Wooden and old and reeking of crime. I wanted so badly to get out, but I would never allow myself to make the same mistakes I'd been making. Once I was out, I'd find my way back to Aang with my new little baby. I would obliterate anyone who dared to get in my way. Besides, I had a promise to Zuko, too. I promised him I'd keep the baby safe. I promised myself I'd keep it safe...

I felt the jagged edge of a potential splinter, and removed my hand from the wall. The last thing I needed was another injury, especially one that drew blood. I was so tired after being raped. I guess I should've been used to it by now...I'd been raped over and over so many times before. But it didn't change in the sense that each time hurt worse than the last.

I had to keep moving. I had to be strong for the little baby inside me, if not for myself. It was still growing, still developing...still living. I could tell by the strong, steady heartbeat it emitted. That little heart jammed my senses, but it was the only way I knew it was alive and well.

My knees buckled beneath me, and the rest of me followed. I didn't even feel the pain from when I hit the ground. Just then I noticed that liquid was surrounding my body. I gently brushed my hand over my entire body, searching for my new wound. I knew the warm liquid was blood. Had to be. Water was too precious to be wasted on frivolities here in this disgusting wasteland. It definitely wasn't raining, so there was no doubt in my mind that I was seeping blood.

Right under the last rib in my ribcage, a deep gash was leaking. I covered it with my hand and waited impatiently for the pain to stop. I knew I needed to stay still, for the gash was long and deep and it had probably just narrowly missed my lungs. Where and when had I gotten this?

My eyes were about to close but immediately shot open when I heard a voice cry out, "She was just here a second ago!" Another voice joined in with, "C'mon, she couldn't have gotten far if she was as weak as you said she was."

Instantly, I knew they were talking about me. Why were they still searching for me? That boy said he'd be back, he never said anything about hunting me down. He seemed nice, like he wanted to help me...but then, they all did at first.

I forced my exhausted body to get itself together and crawl if it had to. My legs would hardly obey my wishes. I grasped a ledge on the wall I'd collapsed by and hefted myself up. It was hard, since I hadn't eaten in so long, just to lift myself off the ground. My muscle was now taking all the damage as my body ate it away. Soon there would be nothing left, and I would perish.

I was slowly dying.

I lifted one leg up, and then the other, _making_ them follow my orders to keep moving. I found it more painful than usual with an open wound in my side.

_If_ I lived to the baby's birth, I knew exactly what I'd name it. Kokoro, meaning 'heart', suited very well. After all, I was going through everything just to keep it alive; I wasn't about to let it die now, and definitely not without a name.

I chanced upon another alley...or the same one I was just in. I honestly didn't know. Everything felt the same and I couldn't see anything to so much as hint at something different. There was no landmark I could follow, no texture in the ground I walked on, no changes whatsoever! It had amazed me that I had nothing to go by yet I'd survived blindly this whole time.

I couldn't feel the sun. I couldn't feel the cold that threatened to take my life tonight. I couldn't feel anything in between. I was completely numbed. I was far beyond exhausted from running right after being raped. I was starving to death and I knew that if I couldn't find enough food, I would surely die before the baby was born. And if I died, I would take Kokoro with me.

If I had _any_ chance of living to see another day, I would have to stop and rest. I could probably withstand one more rape. But I couldn't keep running like this. It was too strenuous physically.

I couldn't keep thinking. I huddled up against a corner of the alley and almost instantaneously fell asleep. If they found me, so be it. If they passed by without noticing me, then great!

A raindrop woke me up. Rain always spelled disaster for me. It always posed a serious and deadly threat. The rainclouds blocked out the warming power of the sun, while the rain itself caused me to lose more body heat than I could possibly afford. And as weak as I was, I couldn't afford to lose much of it.

I pressed myself as close as humanly possible to the corner of the alley and waited out the storm, keeping myself alive by motions of shivering.

"Toph!" I heard in the far distance. "Toph, where are you?"

Few people knew my name, but I knew that some people knew it and used it to their devious advantage. I wouldn't allow my mistakes to take my life. I would be strong; I would suffer through this alone if I had to.

* * *

"You said she couldn't have gotten far!" Sokka yelled at his sister.

Katara merely glared at him with a glare commonly known as the Lightning Glare. This was because it sent shivers down the spine of anyone on the receiving end of the glare. And this time, the victim was Sokka.

"Guys, we'll find her," Aang interjected. "Try to think about Toph for a second. Sokka said she couldn't recognize him. That means she doesn't even know someone's out there looking for her. I bet under that tough earthbending exterior, she's scared and doesn't know what to do."

"And...speaking of scared... Well... Okay, I was going to let Toph tell you guys, but...she's pregnant," the waterbender informed.

"WHAT?" both boys shrieked at once.

The healer's blue eyes darted away from her friends as she used her waterbending to shield the group from the rain. "I know it's hard to believe..." She began explaining what Toph had told her the night she ran off.

* * *

I waited and waited and waited for a long time. I'd become quite accustomed to the rain by now, but only because it rained so much. Part of me dreaded it, yet another part was grateful for its arrival.

After the storm had passed, I sought out the cleanest pool of water I could find and dipped my hands in it. It was so soothing, no matter how cold it was. I cupped my hands and drank for the first time in a day and a half. The water was rejuvenating, to say the least. I made sure to drink as much as my stomach would hold. But my stomach couldn't hold alot anymore. Because I hadn't eaten in so long, it had shrunk.

I could care less about my stomach's size. Right now, I would give just about anything have the huge pregnant belly of a happy expecting lady who actually _ate_ something every day. I knew I wasn't far enough along to have one of those bellies yet, but I think my point was made clear.

I went right back to my little alley corner after I was done. I had a tough choice ahead of me: leave this safety to try my luck at finding food, or stay here and try to save up enough energy to find food. I had to conserve as much energy as possible if I wanted to live, but in order to save energy, I needed the energy to save. Energy came from food, and I had neither energy nor the food from which it was derived. It was truly a vexing decision, but I had to look for food.

My legs, arms, and even head had never felt heavier. My stomach felt queasy thanks to all the water I drank. My body was racked with pain from being raped and then running for so long. It was fair to say that I was in no condition to move, let alone go off on a food hunt. However, it was something that had to be done; if I didn't do anything, my baby wouldn't live.

I cupped my hands around my mouth and breathed into them, warming them up a few degrees. Then I stood, still finding the gash in my side painful, and forced myself to walk and move forward.

Sometime during my trek, the gash had reopened, causing not only severe pain but also unnecessary blood loss. It was horribly bad on my part, because now anyone could follow the trail of blood I was undoubtedly leaving behind. I'd heard that blood was red. I didn't know what red was, though. Could red be easily seen? Was it noticeable? I hoped for my sake that red was a color that blended in with the ground, whatever color the ground was.

I stopped and leaned against the nearest wall to catch my breath and let the pain from my wound pass. I wasn't having too much trouble breathing, meaning the gash was only skin-deep...maybe muscle-deep. Point was, it hadn't hit my lungs, and it didn't seem to be deadly. I considered myself lucky...this time. I'd have to be more careful in the future.

I prodded the open wound a little bit with my pinkie finger. It was still painful, but it wasn't so painful that it couldn't be shrugged off for the sake of my unborn child. I pushed off the wall and started moving again. A good part of me was hoping I'd go into labor a little bit earlier than usual so I could regain my 'sight' earlier, but the smaller part of me was scolding the larger part for even thinking about things like that. I firmly agreed with the smaller part of me.

I heard footsteps coming toward me and pressed myself against the wall I was currently following. But they seemed to be in a hurry and turned in a different direction. I started breathing again and continued walking. It awed me that just a few months ago, or what I assumed was a few months ago, I would've stood up to the intruder even _if_ completely blind. For some reason, now I'd changed. I was no longer my strong self that others admired. No, I was weak and helpless. I wasn't naive anymore. I couldn't trust anyone around here. They were all the same; all dangerous and all twisted. They weren't my friends, even if they said they were.

The day went by very slowly. I didn't find any food. There was plenty of water everywhere and the sun was especially warming, but food was essential. The gash on my side had clotted and reopened several times, making the day excruciating. Usually, though, after about twenty minutes of lingering motionlessly by a wall, the pain would dull enough for me to make headway. Except, I didn't make any headway.

I felt the sun's warmth fading and slumped down against a new wall. Well, it might've been new, might've been old, might've been a wall I'd slept by before. I had no idea.

"Toph! Toph!" I heard someone's ragged voice shouting in the far distance. "Where are you, Toph?"

I gasped as I felt my wound reopen for the hundredth time that day. It seemed I'd leaned over too much and the scab had split. I didn't have the energy to care anymore. With the sunlight fading, my energy always went with it. I was no longer my chirpy, energetic self. I had been broken in mind, spirit, and body. The only thing that kept me going was my baby, who didn't deserve to die before it had a chance to live.

I closed my eyes for what was sure to be the last time.

**A/N**

**Another chapter that nobody will review...yay. Frankly, I don't even know why I bother to update this story anymore. Do you people not understand that by reviewing my story, you're helping me to get better as an author? I would LOVE to hear your opinions and requests, if I haven't made that clear already. Even criticism would help! And if there's a plot hole I need to patch up, how am I supposed to know unless someone points it out? **

**PLEASE REVIEW! (though I doubt any of you will)**


	7. Chapter 7

~Chapter 7~

I was only half-surprised to wake up the next morning, feeling the sun's warmth...hold on. This wasn't the sun's warmth. What...what was this? Something was wrapped around me, like a blanket. I didn't dare move. What if a man had seen me last night and I'd been too exhausted to wake up as he took me to his place? What if, right now, I was in his bed?

Nonetheless, at least I had warmth.

"Toph, are you awake?" a very low, soft, and feminine voice asked.

I didn't answer. I didn't know what to think, let alone say. Where exactly was I? Wait...a feminine voice...coupled with a blanket. Oh no! I was back at that place where the men had branded me! Had they decided they wanted me back? I had to get out!

I rocked myself back and forth, finding it useless. I wiggled, and that was useless. I only had one weapon left: my voice. I screamed to the top of my lungs and quickly heard groans and the shuffle of feet.

"Please!" I begged the voice. "Please, just let me go! I won't tell anyone about the mark! O-Or I'll tell everyone about the mark, if you want me to! You know, for publicity and stuff!" I felt warm tears running down my cheeks but didn't care if anyone saw them. I didn't even care that they were there. All I wanted to do right now was appeal to the voices' better nature, if they had a better nature. I really hoped they had a better nature.

"See? She's clearly delusional," one voice said matter-of-factly.

I stayed quiet, experience having taught me a valuable lesson in listening.

"I don't think so. She didn't get these bruises by herself," the first voice retaliated.

I struggled to get out of the blanket while the conversation continued on about me. I was already weakened by hunger, but now I had to get through an expertly wrapped blanket, which held me down quite nicely. Needless to say, I couldn't break free.

I felt a hand touch my cheek, and involuntarily yanked my head to the side, whimpering and hoping they would see me as no threat to their business. I expected the touch to hurt me, but it was surprisingly gentle.

"I'm sorry, Toph, I didn't mean to scare you... I was only trying to help..." the female's voice mumbled.

Despite the warm blanket, my whole body was shaking uncontrollably. This strange girl hadn't just scared me, she'd terrified me. I took moderately deep breaths but cringed in pain when I felt the gash in my side reopen. I resisted the urge to yelp, but I couldn't stop crying. The blanket was wrapped around me so tightly that it stung like crazy, for lack of a better expression, when the gash had split again.

"Hey, Katara, what's that red stuff on the blanket? Some kind of medicine?" the second voice asked the first voice.

There was a short silence, followed shortly after by a panicked atmosphere.

"No! Sokka, watch Toph; make sure she doesn't run away again. I'll be right back," the first voice said.

Funny, it almost sounded like they were trying to help me...but I still didn't get my hopes up. For all I knew, this was a staged act.

I heard rushed footsteps and the very next thing I knew, I was being freed from the evil that was the blanket. Now all I had to do was wait patiently for my chance to run.

The girl told everyone to get out before lifting up my shirt. I heard her sniffle a few times as she rubbed the gash with what I assumed was a wet cloth. I didn't know whether she was crying or if she had a cold. She rolled me over on my side at one point so that she could get better access to the injury. Then I was being rubbed with something else. This something stung fiercely. I hated it and attempted to get up and run.

I made it up off the floor, but by the time I actually got moving, the girl had tackled me and pinned me down, soon back to progressing in her work on my bleeding gash. I despised every last moment of what she was doing. How dare she! Who did this girl think she was? Burning my side like this... I had to admit, this burning sensation was much different from the branding iron.

I shuddered as that memory came back to me. It was the worst memory of my life. I didn't know whether I'd live or die, and then all I knew for those few seconds was pain and nothing else.

"I know it hurts, Toph. But this medicine will help your side to heal. Doesn't that sound nice?" the voice cooed in a soothingly calm tone.

"What do you want with me?" I asked, this time genuinely curious. "I'm blind; I can't help you. Your boss said so himself."

"Boss?" the calm voice said. "I don't have a boss, Toph, and neither do you. Did something happen?"

Another steady stream of teary raindrops poured out as I moved my hand up to neck, tracing the mark left by the branding iron. It had become a bit of a habit that I practiced when extremely upset. "He's _your _boss, not mine. You tell me what happened!"

The girl tenderly removed my hand from my neck and placed it in front of me. "What's on your neck?"

"I don't even know!" I sobbed. I'd thought it was a picture of something but I couldn't see. Maybe it was just a symbol. I had no way of knowing.

I felt a hand that didn't belong to me lift my hair, which had become matted and tangled over time, to reveal the base of my neck. I heard a horrified gasp. No, this girl couldn't belong to the men who had branded me. If she had, she'd have expected the mark to be there.

"Katara, are you okay? We heard y-" a boy's voice stopped short; I was sure he was seeing the mark on my neck.

"Hey, Sokka, what's wrong? Is everything okay?" another voice, male, asked from somewhere outside wherever I was.

"Aang, come look at this," the boy's voice, the one who called himself Sokka, said.

I heard a fluid movement and extremely light footsteps. Another gasp was heard.

"W-Why...? How...?" the new voice fumbled in disbelief.

I was tired of people pitying me.

"Toph, where'd you get that?" the new voice asked.

"I...I don't know. I was captured, then two men...no, three men...pinned down my arms and legs so I couldn't move. Then I felt this searing heat, like a hundred firebenders were shooting lighting right at the same spot on my neck. After that, I had this mark," I answered truthfully.

"Why didn't you call out for help? Why didn't you scream or something?" 'Sokka' frustratedly asked, as if he were angry with me.

"I'm sorry! I tried!" I said quickly, new tears coming to replace the old ones.

"What do you mean you tried?" Finally, the calm and trustworthy voice was back.

"I-I mean..." I tried to bring back all the events that happened, one after another. "Uh...well...first they blindfolded me. I remember two men dragging me somewhere, but I don't know where. Then...then a third man came in. I remember having a rag stuffed in my mouth, and when the pain came I _did_ try to scream. And then another man came in and said nobody would pay for me because I was blind. But...I don't even remember how I got out of that place."

"What does that mean? 'Nobody will pay for you'?" the first voice quoted.

I shook my head in confusion. "I don't know if I remember..."

"Toph, you have to try!" 'Sokka' yelled.

I flinched and wondered what was so special about the mark on my neck. "I...I... Uhm... I-I don't know... I just heard him say that nobody would pay for me, but the other guy argued back with him, saying that I was only pretending to be blind. Then the one man described my eyes and said I was definitely blind. Then...that's right, then they threw me out."

"So they didn't say anything important? You didn't notice anything strange?"

"I-I remember two really big men. They were the guys who threw me out. While I was in there...I remember that I kept quiet because they still had the brand near me. I could feel its warmth."

"Is that all? You don't remember anything el-OOF! Eeey..."

"Sokka, knock it off!" the feminine voice chastised. "She can't help it if she doesn't know every little detail."

I saw this as an opening to escape, and turning to the direction the feminine voice came from, asked, "Can I please go now?"

There was a very strange silence. I could sense many emotions mixed together. Perhaps I shouldn't have asked that particular question...

"You mean...you really still don't know where you're at?" the female's voice asked, concern lacing her tones.

I shook my head and hoped they would let me leave soon. I still had to find food for the baby.

"I told you...she doesn't recognize us," 'Sokka' said.

The girl must've ignored the comment and kept focusing on me, because she asked me, "Don't you remember who we are?"

Again, I shook my head. I liked this girl, but this 'Sokka' impersonator was unfriendly.

"But we've said our names right in front of you. I'm Katara, that's Sokka, and that's Aang."

"She's delusiona-OW!" 'Sokka' whined.

"I ran away from Katara, Sokka, and Aang a long time ago. If they ever did search for me, they've given up by now. So posing as Katara won't help you anymore. I mean, it worked for awhile...but let's face it, you guys aren't my friends," I replied, carefully choosing each word.

"Wait...why would anyone say they were me?" the new voice asked curiously.

"Well, it's clear now that you don't mean any harm. But let's just say others meant alot of it. Other imposters would give me strange drinks, and for the first few days, I actually believed they were Aang or Sokka, so I took the drink. But every time after I drank whatever that stuff was, I passed out. When I woke up, I had memories so hazy that I couldn't even remember what happened. It's really hard to explain..."

"Why didn't you just fight or run?"

"Well...I tried to. After a few days, I caught onto their little charade. But whenever I fought it and struggled, they forced the drink down my throat. I kept trying to cough it back up, but I would always end up swallowing a little bit of it. And after a while of useless fighting, I would pass out and wake up the same way I did when I took it willingly."

"And...this drink...what was it made of again?"

"I don't know. It tasted weird. That's all I know about it."

'Sokka' spoke up this time. "So you don't think we're your friends because so many people have said that they were us?"

I flipped onto my back and sat up, careful of my gash. "Yeah. Of course, you could at least tell me your real names. And...if it's not too much to ask, do you have any food with you? I'm a little hungry."

"Toph, don't you at least recognize our voices?" the new voice asked. "As my earthbending teacher, I would imagine you'd remember mine, if no one else's."

"I've never met you before," I said, my final answer. "Well, until now."

Another quietness filled the air, making me feel uncomfortable. "Maybe you have me confused with another blind earthbender named Toph?"

"Toph, it's really us. That night that you ran away, we kept looking for you in the forest. We didn't think you would ever make it to a village on your own. Aang here suggested we keep looking through the wilderness," 'Sokka' explained.

I shrugged my shoulders. "First of all, the act isn't fooling anyone. Secondly, Aang is probably in an Earth Kingdom city by now. Probably somewhere like...Omashu? No, no...maybe Ba Sing Se. Well, I guess it doesn't really matter where he is. He's most likely gone off to find a new earthbending teacher."

"What will it take to convince you that we're Team Avatar?" 'Sokka' screeched.

"Seriously, Toph, I haven't gone looking for a new teacher," the new voice, 'Aang', agreed.

"Right..." I said sarcastically. "Where am I, anyway?"

I heard two sighs and one groan.

"You're back at the camp. We found you unconscious on the street," the voice that must've been 'Katara' replied.

"Camp...so is this a hospital or something? Does this mean there's food here?" My stomach seemed to agree with the question and growled.

I felt a little weight being pressing down on my leg, as if someone had set something on it. I reached out to feel the little object to find that it was a small fruit. I quickly grabbed it and bit into it. Its juice filled my mouth as soon as I did, and I'd never been so relieved to have something other than floor food in my mouth. I chewed slowly, savoring every last bite until it was gone.

I felt stuffed after I was done. At least now I had food in my belly. It would help my baby to grow.

"Thanks," I said gratefully. "It was good."

"You're welcome," 'Sokka' grunted.

I didn't know why or even if he was mad at me. I didn't know if I had done anything wrong, but...

"Listen, Toph, I want you to tell us what happened to make you collapse on the street. You know, the way you were when we found you," 'Katara' instructed.

I liked her alot. I'd do just about anything to repay her for the food she gave me. After all, being in debt to someone else just wasn't my style. "Nothing happened. I went to sleep."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I was really tired. These maniacs were chasing me and they kept calling my name. I wasn't ready to go through the same thing again, so I ran. I know it sounds cowardly...but it hurts when they do that, you know?"

I heard air swishing and the shuffle of feet. At least four feet were moving; that meant two people were leaving.

"What happened that day, Toph?" the feminine voice asked gently.

"Uh, same thing that happens almost every day, really. Except for those people who kept chasing me... Between you and I, I think those guys were sick in the head."

"What do you mean?"

I blinked, wondering if this really was a hospital, or maybe if this girl was just new. I figured she was just new. "Well, duh. Every day since I got to this village, men have been all over me! But I've had a little trouble finding food, so I got pretty weak. You don't have to worry about me, though. I'm a powerful earthbender."

"Men have been all over you...? What does that mean?"

I was really questioning just how much this girl knew... "It means they were literally all over me. I would get pinned against the ground or walls and they'd rape me. Don't worry, though; I'm already pregnant. They can't hurt me."

"Oh my God! Toph, are you okay?"

I felt arms wrap around me and squeeze me tightly, but not so tightly that I was choking.

"I'm fine. Lots of girls get raped out here. Actually, I suggest you leave. I thought I was tough enough to handle this place by myself."

"Toph, what _exactly_ happened on the day we-...I mean, those guys tried to catch you?" she persisted.

"Do I really have to tell you?"

"Yes. Every detail would help."

I didn't know what it would help, but I trusted her. "I was trying to find some food, like usual, when this guy comes out of nowhere and said he was Aang. He grabbed my wrist, pulled me into an alley, and raped me. I tried to scream, but only because it hurt. It felt like my body was being torn in half..." I tried to mask my inner emotions with a smile. "He slapped me, and I forced myself to stop making any noise. After he was done, I felt tired and exhausted. I curled up into a ball and right when I was about to go to sleep, someone who claimed to be Sokka told me to stay put. I didn't know why he thought I would. Anyway, he said he'd be right back, as if he was going to get help. I was still tired and weak, and I didn't want to be raped again. So I got up and took off. Eventually, I heard the same guy say, 'She was here a minute ago!' or something like that. I kept moving and found another alley to rest in. I slept there and the next morning it rained. I drank some water and went to look for food again. At some point, I realized I had this gash in my side. I forgot if it was before the rain or after...but I'm sure that doesn't matter. I tried to find food again, but couldn't. I found my way to the nearest wall and fell asleep. Then I woke up here."

"Toph, why are you smiling? You were _raped_. That's bad! That's horrible!"

"I'm smiling, I guess...'cause I know I'm going to die in this waste of a village. I tried to live for my baby, but every day it gets harder and harder to move. Now I have this thing on my side... I just won't last much longer at this rate. I already know rape is bad. I've just grown used to it, is all," I answered. Tears were forming at the corners of my unseeing eyes, but I wasn't going to have a mental breakdown in front of my new friend.

The arms came snaking around me again before the girl said softly to me, "Get some rest, Toph."

I nodded and laid back down. I hadn't realized how incredibly tired I had gotten, and now that I'd eaten... I drifted off without another thought.

**A/N**

**MUAHAHAHA! Another cliffie! Sorta... Anyways, I know nothing much happened in this chapter. This chapter was supposed to be more about the group understanding what happened to Toph while they were looking for her. **

**You guys are totally right. I should stop complaining about my review number. However, please understand that with your help, I'll learn and I'll get better. So I'm going to stop writing! ^.^ Great, huh? (XD I'm going to stop writing for reviews, not stop writing stories) Still, though, a little encouragement every now and then would be nice.**

**But I'd like to thank a few authors/reviewers for never giving up and keeping my spirits high. Thank you, Rocker4Life and TBei! **

**STORY HAS NOT ENDED YET. Next chapter is on its way.**


	8. Chapter 8

~Chapter 8~

"Wow..." Sokka whispered as he looked with pity upon the sleeping earthbender. "So all that happened to her...no wonder she didn't trust us."

"Katara, will she be okay?" the airbender asked.

The waterbender wiped away the remainder of her tears and replied, "I don't know, Aang. Rape is usually very traumatic...but she said she's been through it so many times..." she let her voice trail off in deep thought. "I just don't know what kind of person she'll be when she finds out it's really us."

"What are we gonna do about the baby? We could take turns caring for it while Toph and I train, but...it's hardly a substitute for a parent. Besides, I doubt we'll be able to travel much with it constantly screaming and crying and doing stuff babies do," Aang pointed out.

Katara glared at him with the Lightning Glare. "Aang, you don't get it! Toph hasn't eaten in days!" she hissed hoarsely but softly, so as to avoid waking the exhausted bender. Her expression then dropped, alerting Aang to the bad news that awaited him. "I don't think her baby has much of a chance. The birth will be too stressful on both her and the child. They'll probably both die, Aang."

"But if Toph eats enough and she gets enough water, won't that solve everything?" Sokka intervened.

Katara sorrowfully shook her head and hugged her shoulders. "It might be just barely enough for Toph to live through the birth, seeing how much strain her body's endured, but even if the baby is born alive, it'll be deformed from lack of nutrition. It'll die in the first week of life."

"How are we going to tell Toph?" the young Avatar inquired.

The whole tent was hushed by this one simple question. Everyone was suddenly thinking that exact same question, and it didn't take words to describe their feelings toward their friend. Toph had been put in such a difficult position. In trying to save the baby, she'd pulled through various obstacles...but in doing so, she might not live through the birthing process. And her baby was literally the only thing that had kept her going up until now. If she found out about what would happen, she'd be devastated.

* * *

_I was in a grassy plain, feeling the grass wisp against my toes and enjoying the breeze that passed by. Aang, Katara, and Sokka were all training for their big day facing the Fire Lord. I had nothing to train for. I'd mastered earthbending. I felt my long bangs brush against my face, tickling my eyelids. A slow smile crept across my face. It was serene here, peaceful. _

_All of a sudden, the ground shook with enormous power that I wasn't creating. I felt the grass retreat into the rocks, as if shying away from something. The gentle winds stopped blowing, letting my bangs fall back over my eyes. My smile disappeared. _

_I felt a large, bulky man with more brawn than a rough rhino standing right in front of me. He chuckled hoarsely. "You're blind, aren't you? You can't see. You can't fight. You can't do anything to stop me," he said, his voice rough and musky._

_Before I had any time to figure out what he meant, I was held captive to the ground by cuffs of rock. I pointed two fingers out and dug them into the ground, but nothing happened. I should've been released, but for some reason, I couldn't earthbend anymore! I was trapped, and this man could do with me whatever it was he wanted._

_I felt anger seething inside of me. "You're a sick monster, you know that?" I spat. "Once I can see again, you'll regret ever having crossed paths with me!"_

_He cackled; it was a horrible and terrifying noise. "See? You couldn't see if it was in your wildest dreams! You're blind, girl...blind. You'll always be blind. But that's a good thing for me; an easy catch. Not to mention, you don't look half bad. I think I'll have good fun with you."_

_I felt him slide my clothes off my body, starting first with my belt. Sooner than not, I was bare and exposed. The two shackles that were wrapped around my ankles began to spread and before I knew it, he was on top of me. I braced myself as much as I could. But nothing could've prepared me for such an immense amount of pain. Pain...no, agony...shot through my body and up my spine as he entered me. I'd always thought I was the toughest of the tough, the strongest of the strong, the bravest of the brave. But in that moment, I was shattered. My body was desecrated by a complete stranger. _

_"You're filth...slime...the gunk of society," I managed through the suffering I knew I'd have to endure._

_I heard him mutter incomprehensible curses at me and with my own belt, he whipped my face. "Shut up!" he growled._

_"I won't!" I yelled back. My body may have been in the process of being broken, but my spirit was nowhere near it._

_WHIP._

_"I'll never..." My mind was beginning to crack pretty easily._

_WHIP._

_"Stop this-"_

_WHIP._

_"I'm begging-"_

_WHIP._

_"Please..."_

_WHIP. WHIP. WHIP._

_I felt warm blood trickle down my cheek. I was bleeding. This was because my belt had small stones embedded in it. I was hit over and over, which caused the stones to tear at my flesh._

_"Now, can I continue without any more racket?" he huffed._

_"Yes, sir..."_

_WHIP._

_"I said be quiet!" he roared._

_WHIP._

_I nodded weakly and allowed him to continue. I was already tired from the woods. All scratched up and a few bruises here and there. No pain, no game, right? Well, I think I'd suffered enough pain for this game. It was exactly like being assaulted with a cat-o-nine-tails. Except these were sharp rocks and not smooth bones. I never imagined my own element would betray me. _

_After what seemed like forever, he was done with me. My insides were hurting me. I wanted it to end, this nightmare. Little did I know that this was just the first of many rapes to come..._

_The rock shackles disappeared into the ground, taking my fiery spirit with them. I laid there, feeling too weak to even attempt to fight back. Plus, I was hurting in places I didn't even know I had. _

_Suddenly, the ground around me crumbled, until I was left stranded on a lonesome little island floating in the vast expanse of nothing._

I couldn't feel the sun when I awoke, but that was fine because I knew where I was at. In a wooden building somewhere in the village that harbored so many despicable criminals. Yet, even here, I'd managed to find a friend. And what a nice girl she was, too! Though, I couldn't figure out why she kept calling herself Katara... But then again, the people here were strange, and most of them were very cruel.

I opened my eyes to find the exact same landscape I'd seen when I closed my eyes. Nothing. My world now was dark and lifeless. I couldn't see anything move, nor could I see something stay still. But I had no time to dwell on that fact. I needed to see if I could find a way out of here so I could find more food, otherwise my baby would die. If my baby died, what would I have left?

My dream came rushing back to me in one swift moment. That's right...the first time I'd been raped. I'd never known something could hurt so bad. I'd never imagined how fragile my body was. At least...not until that time. It was truly a horrible experience. Didn't matter anymore, though. I'd been broken. Body, mind, spirit. Gone. Now I was more like a mindless drone. Was that what 'Katara' was talking about when she asked if I was okay?

I was snapped out of my thoughts as I finally realized what had _really_ caused my awakening. My pants were soaked! ...Did I pee? I threw off the blanket 'Katara' had covered me up with and stood up, not knowing what to do.

I didn't need to know what to do, though. A wave of extreme pain and discomfort hit my abdomen worse than any earthbending move I could've inflicted on myself. It was so bad and debilitating that I couldn't even stand. I fell to my knees and doubled over in pain, my hands wrapping themselves around my waist ina futile attempt to quell whatever was happening.

I only knew the one name that 'Katara' called herself by.

"KATARA!" I screamed.

To my left, I heard another scream, but it sounded more like a boy's scream than a girl's.

"Toph, what's wrong?" 'Aang' asked.

"M-Make it stop... MAKE IT STOP!" Tears were now steadily flowing down my face from the unimaginable amount of pain I felt. And the worst part was that the pains were only increasing by the second.

"KATARA!" he yelled.

I felt him put a hand on my shoulder to try to comfort me, but nothing could comfort me right now. "Make it go away..." I growled through clenched teeth.

"I don't know what to do!" 'Aang' worried.

"GET THE GIRL!" I screeched. Already, I felt sweat beads on my forehead.

"KATARA! SOKKA!" he yelled again.

I heard two people come in; four feet.

"Oh, no..." I heard 'Katara' gasp.

"What is it? What's wrong with me?" I managed.

"Toph, you've gone into labor," she said softly.

I merely nodded my head. Suddenly, the pain vanished and every muscle in my body relaxed. My chest heaved up and down. I knew she was right. It was time for the baby to come; it was time for Kokoro to come.

She got me into a relaxed position on my back. 'Aang' was told to clean up the mess from when my water had broken. And 'Sokka', since he didn't have anything else to do, was told to hold my hand as the contractions came and went. 'Katara' said it would give me something to squeeze until the contraction passed; she said it might help a little.

After about fifteen minutes of uncomfortable rest and not being allowed to turn onto my side, another contraction struck. 'Katara' had already pulled off my pants and underwear and had covered my lower portion with a clean blanket. Now she waited very patiently for Kokoro's appearance. Only once had she left that position to feel my belly.

I grinded my teeth together and squeezed 'Sokka's' hand as hard as I could.

"OWOWOW! TOPH, YOU'RE CRUSHING MY BONES!" he whined.

This contraction passed much more quickly than my first one. But it still took a ton of energy out of me. My muscles relaxed, and I was left panting like a hyperactive badgermole in broad daylight.

"Toph, are you okay? You don't look so good," 'Sokka' asked with genuine concern.

"I...I'm...so...much hurting..." was the only answer I could give him.

Even though I couldn't see it, I could feel 'Sokka' and 'Katara' and 'Aang' exchange worried glances. The tension in the air grew and kept growing...until fifteen minutes later, when my next contraction hit.

This one was painful and ridiculously long. It was so bad that at the end of it, I screamed out in pain, unable to take much more of it.

And on the next one 'Sokka' screamed out in pain.

On the next one, I felt blood run out and began to get worried.

"It's okay, Toph. Blood is normal during labor. Just remember to breathe with each contraction," 'Katara' told me, obviously having sensed my concern.

All my fears were dismissed with that one simple comment. I breathed in and out, deeply and steadily, waiting for the next contraction.

After waiting and breathing for seven long minutes, I felt more blood come with an even more painful contraction. I tried to steel myself against it, but on top of the pain, there was pressure down there. I didn't know what was happening.

Sweat dripped off my face as I pushed with all my strength. I squeezed 'Sokka's' hand for the numberedth time.

"It's okay. Squeeze as hard as you want. I've completely lost feeling in it," he told me cockily.

"Aang, wipe her face off," I heard 'Katara' say. "She's sweating like crazy."

I soon felt a dry cloth smoothly run over my face a couple of times, my tangled bangs being lifted to accomodate the cloth.

The contraction passed with no baby. I still had a ways to go, apparently. All my muscles relaxed again and I continued breathing, as 'Katara' instructed me to do.

Eventually, the contractions came very close together. 'Katara' told me it wasn't long until the baby would come.

I pushed one final time, and after hours of intense labor and pain and exhaustion, Kokoro arrived. But there was no cry... Actually, there was no sound whatsoever. I already knew there wouldn't be a sound. I'd gone into labor too early. After all, I was only three or four months along.

"Oh..." I heard Katara, the real Katara, say. I could suddenly 'see' now, so everyone in the room, which was actually a tent that wasn't even in the village, was clearly the real group.

"It's dead," I said flatly, with no emotion attached to my voice.

"I'm sorry, Toph. It was too early."

By the vibrations, I could tell that the baby was so small it could fit in the palm of my hand. I'd done everything just to keep that baby alive. It had been the only thing keeping me going. Now it was gone. Now it was dead.

I got up, despite having just undergone the entire birthing process, and walked out the flap door of the tent. I didn't get very far. My body was extremely weak from all the things that had happened. They just seemed to pile up, one on top of another. I felt my knees hit the ground, and then my fingers, and then the rest of my body. My eyes closed, this time for what I _hoped_ was the last time. I went to sleep.

**A/N**

**Wow. I'm really evil. O.o But evil makes for a great story! :D Okay...yeah. Um...nothing else to say. **

**R&R&Haveaniceday. (oranevilone)**

**PLEASE GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS PPL. KINDA RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS HERE. Oh, wait...hehe... One just popped up. XD Strange timing...**


	9. Chapter 9

~Chapter 9~

I sat alone on a high rocky seat that I'd earthbent (or earthbended?) for myself. It was nothing more than a long, vertical cylinder. I didn't care. Katara had told me, after I woke up, that I'd slept for two days straight. She told me she didn't know how I'd lived through the birth. She also told me that she'd kept me healthier by mushing up fruit and water and bending them into my stomach to give me food. I'd never imagined they had searched for me all this time.

But I couldn't focus on them. All I could think about was the child I'd lost. The group told me they had buried Kokoro near a huge tree right on the edge of the campsite. But I never even got to say goodbye... I knew how hard it was to lose a loved one from the time I lost my grandmother, but it just didn't compare to losing your own child.

"You think someone should go talk to her?" I heard the waterbender's voice below.

"I think she just needs to be left alone right now," Aang replied.

I stood on my rocky cylinder and smacked one foot against base. The whole thing retreated into the ground, leaving only the top of it exposed. Now it was perfectly even with the ground around it.

"I'm fine," I told them both.

"But, Toph..." Katara started.

"I'm fine!" I repeated. "Stop worrying about me." I pointed toward Aang without turning my head. "Shouldn't you be practicing your earthbending stances, Aang?"

Sokka came up from behind me and pointed out, "You know, you haven't called me Snoozles ever since you ran away. You haven't called Aang Twinkletoes and you haven't called Katara Sugar Queen or Sweetness. Why?"

"Does it matter? Do I ask you why you don't only use sarcasm to speak to people? I'm doing my job, okay? I'm training Aang. Wasn't that what I came for? Isn't that why I'm here? So then why does it matter if I call you by your nicknames or your real names?" I retorted.

Nobody spoke back. Nobody made any movements. They only stood there.

"Aang, for the love of the spirits! Get in your stances! I'll check on you later," I said.

I walked away, deep into the forest. This time, I could find my way back. I wouldn't get lost. I took my own earthbending stance and inhaled deeply. Then I punched the air. A huge stalagmite appeared before me. I sat down and, combining earthbending with scratching, chiseled it into a tunnel with my fingernails. It was my way of taking out my pent-up anger on the rock, but it didn't do me much good. It just wasn't enough. It never was.

I sat down inside my tunnel and concentrated on feeling te vibrations in the ground. Aang wasn't in his stances anymore.

It only seemed to take seconds for me to reach the campsite to confront the slacker.

I began by poking him in the chest. "Do you want to learn how to earthbend or not?"

"W-Well, yeah...but-"

"No buts! If you're going to defeat the Fire Lord, you'll need to learn more advanced moves. All you can do right now is make rocks come up from the ground! That won't be enough. There's a lot more to earthbending than just pushing a bunch of stones around," I scolded.

"Sure, Toph..."

I felt the airbender get into his horse stance and slowly move up to his mantis stance. After he was done with those two stances, I expected a perfect stork stance from him. Only when he mastered that could I teach him the snake stance.

"Good, now keep practicing."

"But Katara made lunch for everyone."

"Then you better hurry up and be done with your practice for the day."

I felt Katara walk up behind Aang. "As his waterbending master, I say it's time to eat."

"And as his earthbending master, I say he keeps training until he gets his stances right."

"You should probably eat, too, Toph. You tend to get cranky when you're hungry."

"I'M NOT CRANKY!"

I felt Aang try to sneak away to go eat, but stopped him with a rock wall. "You aren't done yet. Remember, like a rock to move a rock."

"He can't move anything if he doesn't have the energy to move himself!" Katara protested.

"FINE!" I turned to Aang. "Go eat, Aang; but when you haven't mastered earthbending by the time Sozin's Comet arrives, don't come crying to me for help."

I heard him sigh and say, "It's okay, Katara. I'll stay and get my stances down, then I'll come and eat."

I felt Katara nod her head and walk back to camp.

"Don't slack off again and you'll be done before you know it," I told Aang.

I both heard and felt his stomach growl, as if in anger to my comment.

I made my way back to my tunnel, having set Aang straight. I walked inside it and sat down. It wasn't damp, but it was dark. I knew this only because of the colder feeling I got when I went inside. I pulled one knee close to me and rested my head on it. The rock? There was no more rock. There was nothing left for it to crumble into. Dust, I supposed. But I was beyond dust. What was smaller than dust? I sure as heck didn't know. I sure as heck didn't care.

A hand reached up and grasped the portion of my outfit that covered my heart. It took me a few seconds to recognize it as my own hand. My heart hurt. It ached. I'd never experienced a pain like this before. I wished I didn't have to. Why couldn't the pregnancy have gone accordingly? Why'd my precious little baby have to die?

I slammed my other hand against the wall of the tunnel, causing tremors to spread throughout not just the rock I hit, but the entire vicinity which I resided. I wasn't fine; I wasn't myself. I wanted my child back. ...But that could never happen.

"I did everything..." I mumbled to the spirits. "I did everything humanly possible, all for that one kid. AND YOU TOOK IT!"

Another tremor spread throughout the earth as I punched the tunnel again.

"You're spirits! You're immortal! Your offspring are immortal! But...but do you know what it feels like...to have your own child..._die _right in front of you?" I raged.

This time, it wasn't just a tremor that I created, but an earthquake. I shook with the ground, my body trembling in anger, pain, sorrow, and love. I loved Kokoro even before it was born, even before it died. I would continue loving it, whether Kokoro was a him or a her.

I closed my eyes and held my forehead. I flicked the ground and the earthquake stopped. What was I supposed to do now? Without Kokoro, I didn't have a purpose in life. What would happen after Aang mastered earthbending? The world would be restored, but what would happen to me then? I would literally have nothing left to do.

Curse the spirits for taking my beloved child away from me...CURSE THEM ALL!

I stood up, not forgetting about Aang, and walked back to where he was.

He'd finally perfected the stork stance. His arms were spread out, his fingertips reaching skyward, and he was standing on one foot while the other was resting against his leg.

"Congratulations, Aang. Now you can go eat. Your training session is done for the day," I told him.

He bowed and said, "Thank you, Sifu Toph. But aren't you hungry?"

"I guess so," I answered, somewhat delighted that he called me 'Sifu' for the first time in ages. As an added bonus, he even bowed to me. I imagined that Katara talked to him, probably something about me being depressed about the baby and all that. I wasn't depressed...I just felt like my soul was being twisted like unfried dough.

I forced a smile as I followed Aang back to camp.

Underground, I could feel my baby's burial box. I turned my head over to it, knowing I wouldn't be able to see it.

"That's...where we buried it," I heard Katara say.

"I know. I can feel the box. It's a little box. A little box for a little baby," I answered, tears forming at the corners of my eyes.

Sokka handed me some stewed sea prunes. I'd never tried them before. "You're gonna love these, Toph."

I could feel Aang's heartbeat increasing each time he ate a sea prune. But it wasn't because he was happy. At the first chance he got, he spat out the stewed fruit...or what I assumed to be fruit...and I felt his face and stomach muscles tense up severely. I wanted to try one just because Aang was an airhead. No pun intended...

"Stomach it if you can," I heard Aang whisper to me.

I popped one in my mouth and felt my own face become numb. I suddenly felt nauseous and figured that perhaps eating could wait. I struggled to swallow the little thing that dared to call itself edible.

"Uh...I just realized I'm not that hungry anymore," I said quickly.

"Oh, that's okay. These sea prunes can be preserved just by drying out," Sokka the Oblivious replied.

I felt Aang tense up, knowing he'd have to eat more of these...these..._things_. I tensed up with him. My eyes may not have been able to see, but I doubted I needed eyesight to know what did and didn't look edible. Sea prunes were probably one of those things that didn't look edible.

"Uh...that's okay, Sokka," Aang said pleadingly. "Toph and I can find our own food."

"Yeah, yeah. In fact, I think I feel some mushrooms growing underground. As far away from those prunes as possible," I agreed, feeling Aang nod his head vigorously.

"If you say so..." Katara sighed.

I used earthbending to dig my hands into the ground where I really did feel mushrooms growing. I picked them out one by one, until I had a handful of truffles. After tasting what Aang had been through, I wasn't hogging any of them and shared them with the hungry airbender.

"Thanks for the save, Toph," he said gratefully. I could tell he wasn't lying. His heartbeat was steady and unchanged.

"You're welcome," I replied.

"Huh?"

"I said, 'You're welcome'."

"Yeah, I know."

"So then why are you acting like you're so shocked?"

"Well..." he hesitated.

"Why, Aang?"

"Normally you'd say something like, 'No problem.' or 'Don't mention it.' But I've never heard you say something so formal before," he finished.

"Well, sorry for being formal for once. I didn't think it would bother you," I said.

I stood and walked away, back toward my tunnel rock. To ensure Aang wouldn't follow me, I erected a rock wall as a barrier.

Once in my little tunnel rock, I sat hunched over myself.I just sat there and thought about various things. I didn't talk, didn't earthbend, didn't move. It must've been hours before I felt someone coming to look for me. I could never tell who it was, but I was certain it was a boy. There was no way he could be Zuko; he wasn't clad in armor. That left a stranger, Aang, or Sokka.

"There you are, Toph." It was Sokka.

"Hi. You can come in if you want. I just made it today," I said, referring to my tunnel.

I felt him coming closer. He was surprisingly near me in a matter of moments.

"Toph, are you feeling alright?" he asked softly.

"Sure, why do you ask?"

"Well, you haven't exactly been yourself since you ran off. I was wondering if...if you wanted to talk about it?"

I sighed and flopped onto the floor of the cavern. "I'm fine, Sokka. There's nothing to talk about."

"Then call me Snoozles just one time."

"Why? What difference would Snoozles make as opposed to Sokka?"

"Because we're all worried about you. You just...I don't know... Something's missing. Normally you wouldn't come out here on your own just to sit for hours at a time and do nothing but carve a cave. Normally you'd want to fight or train Aang. But now you just seem...out of it," he explained. "Katara told me about how you were...erm..._treated_...in that village. I wouldn't blame you for being upset about that. And with the baby...it would probably make you really sad. But I'm really starting to get scared now. I mean, I haven't seen you smile even once since...you know. The only smile I've seen is one of those obvious forced ones."

"So what if it's forced? It's still a smile."

"It's not an expressive smile. And it doesn't fit your personality. It doesn't tell anyone how you feel."

"Listen, Sokka, my personal life is none of your business. My past is none of your business. It's one of those times where you just shouldn't get involved. And furthermore, you can call it 'rape' or 'the baby's death'."

I felt Sokka's shoulder muscles drop, as well as certain muscles on his face.

"I was only trying to respect those memories. I thought they would be painful for you," he said.

I closed my eyes, which still didn't make a difference, and breathed in deeply. "I don't care about memories. That's all they are. Just...memories. Nothing more."

"You don't care that your baby died?"

I felt tears forming, and wished he hadn't said what he said. Those words cut deeper than any sword knife, or other blade. I knew that Sokka especially wasn't going to leave me alone about this subject. I needed to answer him, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to even search for an answer. I didn't just care about my baby, I loved Kokoro with all my heart. I didn't even think it possible to love someone that much until I learned I was pregnant. Even after all the trouble it'd caused me, I still loved it. My little troublemaker...

I felt the tears fall down, but didn't try to stop them. This was my answer to Sokka.

"Toph...I'm so sorry... I-I didn't mean that..." I heard him say. He was lying.

I laid there, silently crying. I was sure there was a little person inside me. That little person was evil. He kept stabbing my heart with the sharpest knife I'd ever known to exist. I would have sacrificed myself to save Kokoro. I only wished I'd had the opportunity to do that when he or she was born. I would've jumped at the opportunity to trade my life for his or hers. I'd have done _anything_ to save my precious baby.

"Toph, please don't cry..." Sokka whispered tenderly to me.

I felt him place a hand on my arm, but I smacked it away.

"THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? MY OWN _BABY_ DIED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! AND I COULDN'T DO A THING ABOUT IT!" I screamed. I found myself standing in the tunnel and huffing, my breath harsh, almost labored. It sounded like I was growling at him. I wanted to growl at him. I wanted to turn into a huge, monstrous beast and show him how much pain I felt at the death of my child.

I felt him flinch in fear of being hit with a boulder ten times his size. He was very smart to show submission, even in the slightest. I was already considering smacking him with a hundred-ton boulder. Or perhaps more weight and more jagged edges would get the point across.

"I'm sorry I said that, Toph." He wasn't lying. "It was a stupid thing to say." It didn't take earthbending to figure out whether or not that was a lie. "But more importantly, it was cruel. I should've respected your feelings toward your baby. I'm sorry about what happened to it. It must be really hard on you." ...He wasn't lying.

**A/N**

**Hm... I have no idea what to say. Hope you enjoyed that chapter! WAIT! A reviewer asked me about the timeline of this and if it was AU. No, it is not AU. The timeline is Book 2 Earth (obviously after they meet Toph). Toph is still twelve and I'm glad you caught that because now I can say...um...well, just say she hit puberty early or something, okay? Kinda too late to change anything now.**

**Um...you know, the usual. Read, review, take a vacation to Hawaii, and then go try to earthbend when you know you can't. Okay, so haveanicedayoranevilone. For the record, I KNOW I'M BEING MEAN TO TOPH. And also for the record, DON'T LET TOPH READ THIS STORY 'CAUSE SHE'LL KILL ME IF SHE SEES IT.**


	10. Chapter 10

~Chapter 10~

I calmed down a little bit, enough to the point where I wasn't thinking of ways to murder Katara's brother. "Don't ever mention Kokoro again in my presence!" I yelled.

"Kokoro? Who's that?" he asked, the worst possible question.

"SHUT UP, SOKKA!" I frantically wiped away tear after wet tear in a desperate attempt to stop crying. Actually hearing the name itself had really hurt. My heart had been through enough; this had gone far enough.

"Wait a second... Kokoro...was the baby's name...wasn't it?" he continued, more of a fact than a question.

Spirits, I hated how he was figuring it all out. He wasn't supposed to! He was supposed to be Sokka! Hardheaded, oblivious Sokka! But he had figured it out. Why couldn't I just be left alone to sort things out by myself?

* * *

"Don't ever mention Kokoro again in my presence!" she yelled.

"Kokoro? Who's that?" Sokka asked, unknowing how horribly the question would hurt Toph.

"SHUT UP, SOKKA!" the earthbender screamed. She frantically wiped away tear after tear in her attempts to stop crying. It was a useless act.

"Wait a second... Kokoro...was the baby's name...wasn't it?" Sokka continued, more of a fact than a statement.

She'd named it...she loved the baby so much she'd named it before she even knew if it was a boy or a girl. Sokka had never once thought of Toph as the mothering type, but she really loved her baby. Even now it was clear to him that she still loved it, despite its demise. Immediately he was wracked with guilt. How could he have been so stupid, so ignorant? And he'd said such horrible things to her that no doubt hurt her feelings.

* * *

My knees completely lost feeling and strength. I soon found myself on the ground crying my heart out. I didn't care who saw anymore. I couldn't stop thinking about what Kokoro's life could've been like if I hadn't been so stupid as to run away.

It was all my fault that Kokoro died; it was all my fault that he or she couldn't live out his or her life. I could've taught Kokoro how to earthbend if it was an earthbender! It might've had my eyes if I hadn't been born blind! I was so evil and stupid and dumb! How could I have run off without giving any thought to the baby? Now the baby was gone, and I, the mother, was to blame. I really sucked...

* * *

He watched the young bender fall to her knees. Then the rest of her slumped down to the ground. She made no effort to move as she cried and cried for the loss of her premature baby.

At a time like this, there was only one thing to do.

* * *

I felt my limp body being picked up. Sokka squeezed me and instinctively, I grabbed his shirt and continued to cry. I had looked forward to becoming a mother, to having a little body hugging my leg and asking me millions of questions a day. Even without a father, I knew me and Kokoro would be fine. I could do all the protecting and all the encouraging and all the mothering and fathering on my own. But now...now I couldn't.

I imagined how fun it would have been to have a little kid running around me at the crack of dawn, waking me up with, "Mommy, c'mon, I want to play!" or, "Mommy, I'm hungry!"

And it only made the pain more unbearable.

"Isn't there any way I can see Kokoro again?" I sobbed into Sokka's warrior's uniform.

"Sorry, Toph... You can't... I mean, it's not like you could just up and die on the spot!" I knew he was attempting to lighten my mood, but that gave me a great idea.

"That's it... Sokka, you're a genius!" I smiled, my first real smile in too long a time.

"Well, I don't like to brag, but... Hold up... What's it again?"

I swiftly grabbed the warrior's black meteorite sword and pulled it out of its sheath.

"Hey! Wait...Toph, what are doing with that?"

He continued babbling on about something and sounded really worried, but I was finally going to get to see my little baby again! I was finally going to get to see Kokoro! I aimed it over my belly and braced myself for alot of temporary pain.

"Toph...just hang on a second... There's a rational way to deal with this... Killing yourself isn't one of them!"

I felt Sokka make a move toward his sword, so I acted fast. I plunged the sword into my body. It hurt like crazy! It was extremely painful! Excruciating, even!

"TOPH! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

I kept my hands on the handle and wiggled the sword. I grunted with the pain, but there was a better chance of death this way. I removed the sword, immediately receiving the reaction I was hoping for from my body. At least a gallon of blood had to have come out upon the sword's removal. Then a strange taste filled my mouth, one that I'd never tasted before. It tasted alot like copper, actually. I hated it and spat it out.

"T-T-Toph...you...a-and the sword... Why...?" I heard Sokka ask.

I spat out more of the coppery liquid, which by now I assumed was blood that had traveled up my throat. "I did it, Sokka. I'm finally going to meet Kokoro. Thanks for helping me...Snoozles." I spat again, wondering when I was going to die so I wouldn't have to feel this pain anymore.

"Toph, when I said 'die on the spot', I wasn't being literal!" he scolded.

"Ah, Snoozles... Next time you see me, I'm gonna be in a better place. And I'm gonna be there with Kokoro. Just try to enjoy the time we have left together." The time we had left...hopefully that wouldn't be a long time. This pain hurt alot. I spat out more coppery stuff. I was getting weaker, I could feel it.

I fell down to all fours and spat out some more blood. I was good at spitting.

"Oh, no... Toph, c'mon, we have to get you to Katara. She'll make this all better, okay?"

"No. I don't want to get better. I _want_ to die. You were right, dying is the only way I can see Kokoro again. I should've died on..." I spat out more blood so I could finish. "...the streets at that village. But I didn't. You guys found me. I'm not saying that I'm not grateful, but I think I've overstayed my welcome here in this life."

"DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELF?"

"Yeah, and I gotta say, being able to be the mother that Kokoro deserves sounds really good to me."

I spat again, the coppery taste not willing to leave. My arms were losing the battle to hold the upper portion of my body upright. They collapsed and I fell into a large pool of my own blood. Great, now the copper taste would never leave.

"Toph...you're so weak..."

"Lack of blood, Snoozles... I'll be gone before you know it..."

"Toph..."

"Tell Twinkletoes and Sugar Queen that I'll see 'em soon..."

I spat again, this time a much larger amount of blood accumulating in my mouth, and a lot quicker.

"No! No, no, no, no! This is wrong!"

I felt my body being hefted up but didn't have the energy to fight it. Sokka was carrying me on his back. My eyes slid shut and I could actually feel my life leaving me, along with my conscience. My headband fell off sometime during the trip, which actually wasn't that long, and my long hair fell out of order. That was all I could comprehend before I passed out.

When I woke up, my shirt and tunic were gone. They were replaced by bandages. The first thing I wondered was if I was dead or not. I felt the ground...but it wasn't ground I felt. It was the tent's floor. Darn it, Sokka...why? Why couldn't he have just let me die?

I tried to sit up, but was hit with extreme pain where the sword pierced through me. I felt blood staining the bandages that covered the entire upper portion of my body.

"You know, I didn't tell them you tried to kill yourself," I heard a voice say. It was Sokka's voice. How had I not felt him there? "I told them we were training, swordsman versus earthbender, and that I accidentally stabbed you. They're still mad at me, so if you hear any mean comments, don't be surprised."

"Why?"

"Well, I didn't think you'd want to have that reputation of suicidal on your mind. I figured you already had enough on your mind as it was."

"No, I mean why didn't you just let me die?"

I felt him shift positions from standing to sitting. "You're lucky you _are_ alive, you know that? Kokoro can wait. We can't."

I knew he was talking about Aang's training. I didn't interrupt as Sokka continued. "Katara told me she did everything she could to save you. She that even with as many healing sessions as she could manage, you still might not make it. You've been out for several days. You really scared us, Toph..."

He wasn't lying. "I just wanted to see Kokoro."

"So you try to kill yourself? Is that really a good way to solve this? Look at you now; you can't earthbend, you can't even move! We'll all die one day, Toph. You don't have to speed up the process. You'll see Kokoro again, but you don't have to kill yourself to do it. Imagine your parents and your friends, Toph. Then there's Aang. He still needs to master earthbending. He's been practicing his stances over and over so that when you woke up he could impress you."

I turned onto my side and pushed myself up with my arm. From there I was able to sit up. My back felt stiff and I guessed that Katara had kept me in the same position to do her healing sessions.

"I get that you're depressed, Toph, I really do. But are you willing to abandon everything?"

"I'm not depressed," I said flatly. "You don't have a child, Sokka, let alone a dead one. Why don't you just leave me alone?"

I felt Sokka leave the tent. I didn't know what to think or feel anymore, but maybe it was time I listened to some of his advice. It was deep, and I never knew Sokka to be an advice-giver. Boy had some wisdom, I'd give him that.

I laid back down, and it didn't take me long to get to sleep.

The next time I woke up, I felt a boy wearing armor. It was Zuko. I didn't know how long I'd been out this time, but I wanted to tell him what happened to the baby. He spared my life because of Kokoro, now it was time he found out.

I somehow managed to get out of the tent.

"What's happening?" I asked.

It was Katara who answered; she didn't seem to realize I'd even gotten up. "It's Zuko. He's after Aang again."

I heard the splashing sound of water and recognized it as Katara's waterbending. I heard the crackle of fire and Aang's grunts as he tried to dodge Zuko's firebending. I felt his feet land on my tunnel rock. I was sure that by now, it was infested with gopherbats and cavehoppers. That was okay. I hadn't made any plans to go back. But I did feel the need to talk to Zuko about the baby.

I headed off toward my tunnel.

When I got there, I felt exceptionally weak. I suddenly saw my weakness and vulnerability as an opportunity, actually.

I crawled up to a spot where I felt Sokka and Zuko right about to duel it out. Sokka had a weapon in his hand. It was his favorite weapon, his boomerang. And Zuko's stance was foreign to me, but I recognized it as some kind of firebending stance. I was an earthbender, so naturally, firebending stances were...well...useless knowledge. Now, if Zuko was an earthbender, I would be able to identify every move before he made it. Even Katara and Aang's stances were unusual to me.

I stumbled up to Zuko and fell to my knees. I reached up and grabbed some of his garment. "Please...don't fight..." Then I feigned a faint. I purposefully relaxed every muscle in my body so that I 'fainted'. Although with my lack of energy and a gaping hole in my gut, I was pretty sure I was going down that path anyway. I had to resist the urge to yelp as the hole from the sword hit the ground, spilling alot of blood. It wasn't long before I felt the puddle of blood reach my hands.

Neither rivals made a move for the longest time.

But finally, Sokka risked giving up the fight to 'save' me. At the same time, I felt Zuko release his tense stance, his arms dropping to his sides.

"We'll call a truce," the firebender said. "At least until she's healed."

"Agreed." Sokka lifted me up, obviously not trusting his rival to do it.

I remained limp and motionless, trying to sell it as much as I could. I was sure it was working, because neither of the two spoke. But I hated being carried. With my entire body in the air and no ground underneath me, I couldn't see a thing. The only thing I could feel was Sokka's arms, which were surprisingly strong. Either that, or I was surprisingly underweight. I guessed the latter.

"What happened to her?" I heard Zuko ask once we were back at camp.

"We were training. I accidentally stabbed her. Not that you'd care," Sokka answered.

I was set down gently back on the floor of the tent. That forsaken tent...I hated it. I couldn't feel as well as I could on solid rock. I really wanted my earth tent back. But I stayed still, as if I had actually passed out.

I felt a girl come in, and instantly knew it was Katara. She was the only other girl in the group, after all. I waited patiently for what I knew would be my healing session. And probably a change of bandages.

Sure enough, she shoved everyone else out of the tent and carefully unwrapped me, making sure the flap was closed first.

I felt the cooling sensation of water on me, and then all my pain went away. It felt really good. There was absolutely no more pain from the hole in my stomach. But as soon as she took her hands away, it came rushing back. I wished she'd kept doing that healing thing with the water...

I felt a damp cloth run over my body, cleaning up the blood that the wound had let out. Then Katara lifted the upper portion of my body up. I let my head roll back, still acting like I was unconscious. She repositioned it so that it hung forward. Soon after, I felt new bandages being wrapped around me. She was very careful when she came upon my sword injury. I had to admit, it hurt badly when she started wrapping them around my belly. But I made no expression; I gave no indication that I was still conscious.

Once she was done, she tied a knot at the bottom, around my waist, so the bandages wouldn't come loose. Then she gently laid me back down. I let my head fall to one side. It was better for now if they believed I was unconscious. I wanted them to talk as if I weren't here. Maybe I could pick up something useful.

I felt her pull some covers up over me and brush my bangs away from my eyes...not that hair in my eyes would matter much since my eyes were completely unusable. It always struck me as weird that the eye was considered the most useful part of the body, yet I fared better without them.

I heard the flap door open and flutter down, and I could already feel her walking towards a campfire. I bet Zuko lit it with his firebending. I opened my eyes, though I didn't know why I bothered. I guess it was better than having to force them shut all the time.

I concentrated on listening to what I knew was going to be an interesting conversation.

"Toph is resting, so keep it down. I put on clean bandages and tried to speed up her body's natural healing process. I still don't know whether or not she'll make it, though. That hole is so big...and it could get infected at any time," I heard Katara say.

"I know her only as the Blind Bandit. She once told me I'd never know her real name. Guess she was wrong," Zuko chimed.

"Well, we can't fight. At least not with Toph like this. She's badly injured, and if we start fighting she's going to want to do something. It'll put her in too much danger," Aang said.

Darn right I'd want to do something.

"Aang's right. You guys saw how she came right up to Zuko; the worst part about it that she's not strong enough to earthbend yet," Sokka agreed.

"Yeah. I know from experience how hard it is to earthbend. It takes alot of muscle, strength, and energy. Toph has the muscle, but she doesn't have the strength or energy anymore." It was pretty obvious who was talking there.

"Shouldn't the Blind...uh...I mean...shouldn't _Toph_ be showing by now? And why is she so skinny?" Zuko asked.

And here it came; the moment of truth.

There was an awkward silence, and then Sokka asked, "How'd you know Toph was pregnant?"

Aw, crap! Did I forget to tell them? Can't anything go right?

"She didn't tell you? I found her out in the forest. She said she was lost and explained how the baby's heartbeat was messing up her 'sight'." I felt Zuko put air quotes around the word 'sight'. "I led her to the nearest village. After she promised she'd keep the baby safe, I left."

Another strange, tense silence occurred.

Aang finally had the courage to speak up. "Uh...the thing is...Toph went into labor not too long ago. The baby was born too early. It didn't make it."

"Yeah..." Katara sighed with heavy emotion. "She's been really depressed ever since. I don't think she wants anyone to know, but..."

I sighed in frustration. How dare they talk about Kokoro! Especially when I wasn't even there!

"So the baby died... She must be going through a really hard time," the firebender mumbled.

"She's trying to act strong for everyone," Sokka said.

What was wrong with acting strong? And it wasn't even acting! I was strong, and that was that!

"I think I can relate to acting strong."

"No way! We accepted you here only because Toph is injured! But on our terms, you're going to stay away from her!" And there went Katara, freaking out.

"Don't worry. She even told me herself that as soon as she could 'see' again, she would be fighting me." I felt Zuko put his hands up in defense, but not a firebending stance.

I didn't have the energy to listen in on the rest of the conversation. I let myself drift off, knowing I'd need the sleep.

**A/N**

**Ayup, that would be the tenth chapter. I can't believe I managed to make the story last this long. And yes, Toph is supposed to be a little OOCish after everything that's happened to her. You'd be OOCish, too, if you went through what she went through.**

**NOBODY READ THIS TO TOPH! **

**Yes, I realize how cruel I'm being. Deal with it.**

**R&R&haveanicedayoranevilone!**


	11. Chapter 11

~Chapter 11~

I woke up to another healing session with Katara. She had me upright this time instead of laying down.

"The pain is gone..." I murmured, still half asleep.

I heard her chuckle warmly. "Yeah, that's kind of what healing does."

"Where are my clothes...?"

"They're actually clean, but you can't wear them until your injury heals. For now, you'll have to make do with me wrapping you in fresh bandages," she answered.

She took her hands away and the pain came right back to me, causing me to yelp like a hurt poodlemonkey. The pain was enough to fully wake me up, which was more than I could say for just about anything else.

She quickly apologized and began cleaning me with the damp cloth.

I tried to put a hand over the hole, but Katara pulled me away before I could touch it.

"I don't want you to get an infection," she said.

I just sighed. I felt the cloth go lower and lower until it reached my wound. I grunted even though I was trying hard to conceal my pain.

"Sorry, Toph," Katara apologized.

I let her continue on as long as I could, but the pain only seemed to keep building. Soon it became unbearable. I pushed her hand away. "Okay, that's enough."

"But you have blood clotted all around it."

"I don't care."

"It makes it harder to wrap you."

"Then do it when I'm not awake. It hurts like crazy."

Katara sighed and put down the cloth.

I felt the long strips of bandages begin to cover me. To pass the time, I counted the number of times it wrapped around my bone-thin body. I immediately lost count when it reached my abdomen. The only thing I could focus on was hoping Katara stayed vigilant and careful. It wasn't just my stomach that the sword had pierced, after all; the sword had gone straight through me, and then I wiggled it. That meant there was literally a hole in me, starting from my stomach and ending at my back. Both ends hurt, though.

Thankfully, the waterbender was extremely careful when she got to the wound and made sure not to cause too much pain.

"These bandages make me look like a skeleton, don't they?" I said, rather than asked.

"Well...not entirely. I mean, you _are_ pretty thin. But I think if you keep eating and try to keep your strength up, you'll be back to yourself in no time at all." She was lying. She probably didn't think I would make, or was unsure if I would make it.

I didn't care either way it went. If I died, I would get to see my little baby. If I lived, I would train the Avatar. I guess it was better if I lived. Even though seeing Kokoro delighted me just at the thought of it, I knew it was more efficient if I taught Aang first, then saw Kokoro later. Normally, someone might've thought about love in between training and dying. I didn't. A tomboy like me? Nobody would love that. Not in a girl, at least.

I yawned and willed myself not to stretch, even though my body was begging me to. It was so strange that I was tired already. But then...I stayed up later than usual and woke up...uh... What time was it?

"What time is it?" I asked Katara.

"Oh, it's early dawn."

"And dawn would be...?"

"Oh, right... Dawn is early morning."

So I went to sleep later than usual and woke up earlier than usual. Alot earlier than usual. That would explain a lot. "Then why'd I wake up?"

"Because I sat you up to help you heal. It tends to make people wake up."

"I see..." Technically, I didn't see. But I just couldn't do blind jokes anymore. I didn't know what it was. Maybe it was Kokoro's death.

I felt my stomach twist into a knot at the thought of Kokoro's tiny little burial box. It was so small...just like Kokoro was. I remembered how Kokoro could fit right inside the palm of my hand. That was truly gut-wrenching. If I hadn't run away, I could've been cradling Kokoro in my arms in a few months, rocking him or her to sleep. I really wanted to be a mother...I just hadn't realized it until after I learned I was pregnant with my baby.

I sighed, and Katara laid a motherly hand on my shoulder. "You're thinking about the baby, aren't you?"

I turned my head and closed my eyes, trying to focus on not crying. "No. I'm not," I lied.

"Toph, it's okay to be sad about it. What happened was a sad thing...for all of us."

"It's okay, Katara. I'm fine."

I knew I was going back to that emotionless, soulless thing that I had been, but I couldn't help it. I didn't know why I was acting the way I was.

"I'm just worried about you. After everything that's happened to you... And you know, you still have all those bruises from the village. I just want you to be safe and happy."

Happy...that was something I hadn't felt in months. I doubted I'd ever feel happy again, now that my child was gone.

"I'm okay." I turned my head and tilted it so that my unseeing eyes were looking at her. "Really, I am."

Thank the spirits she couldn't use earthbending. If she could, she would've known I was lying. I felt her tie the knot around my waist, finishing up the whole bandaging process.

"Feel free to come outside, Toph. But try not to move around too much; we don't want that injury bleeding," she told me.

"But Aang's training-"

"Will have to be on hold for a little while," she interrupted. "Toph, that's a very serious wound. You need to get better before you try to earthbend."

I blew a lock of hair out of my face in annoyance. Earthbending was my life, it was what defined me. I was Toph, the world's greatest earthbender. And now the world's greatest earthbender had just been told she couldn't earthbend! What was up with that? What crazy, messed-up universe had I stumbled across?

"I know you're upset, but just bear with it. Of course, this wouldn't have happened if Sokka had only been a little more careful..." Her voice was so low it sounded like a growl.

I felt her get up and leave the tent, her heartbeat having sped up a little. She was mad at Sokka for what she thought he did to me.

Well, I mused, in actuality, I'd brought this on myself. If I hadn't grabbed Sokka's sword, I would be able to earthbend. Come to think of it...I'd be able to move around more without worrying I might pass out from blood loss. On top of that, I would be wearing my shirt and tunic right now instead of bandages.

I struggled to get up, my sword wound hurting more than normal. Katara must've wrapped it a little more tightly than yesterday. Either that or...maybe I really wasn't going to make it. I managed anyway and walked out of the tent.

I felt the vibrations around me. Zuko was asleep by the dying campfire, still clothed in metal. The boys were sleeping in the same tent, while Katara was trying to get the fire going again to cook some food.

I walked over to one of the logs that the boys had moved around the fire and sat down, not really sure what else to do. I waited patiently for Katara to cook. Being blind, I was never allowed near any cooking utensils other than chopsticks or spoons. I'd also never been given any lessons on how to cook anything. That was one reason my parents wanted me to inherit their fortune, so that I could have a servant make my food.

The smell was amazing, and it made me hungry for whatever it was she was making. I just hoped it was sea prunes...

I felt Zuko's heartbeat and breathing speed up. He was beginning to wake with the smell. The boys were still out cold.

I grunted as I stood up and walked silently into their tent. I couldn't tell who was who, especially because I couldn't see very well on the tent's floor, but I assumed the one on the left side was Sokka and the one on the right side was Aang. I kicked the one on the right. Aang was going to continue his training, whether I could earthbend or not.

"Ow! Ugh... Toph, what was that for?" I was wrong. The one on the right was Sokka and the one on the left was Aang.

I kicked the one on the left.

"Aiyee!" I heard him shriek.

I heard Sokka hiss behind me. "Oooh..."

"What?"

"Ah...you probably shouldn't have kicked right there."

I ignored the comment, not quite understanding what Sokka was talking about. "Aang, get up."

"I...can't..." he squeaked.

I felt Sokka shy away from me, as if in horror.

"Where'd I kick him?"

"Um...well...it's...uh..."

I suddenly understood. "Oh... Sorry, Aang. I can't see as well when there's not dirt under my feet."

"No...p-problem..." His voice was so tiny it was almost humorous.

I left the tent with, "Katara's cooking something."

I went straight back to my log without another word.

"I heard about what happened to your baby. I'm sorry," Zuko said. He was stripping off his armor to get more comfortable in normal Fire Nation clothes. I couldn't feel Katara around, and assumed she'd gone off to do something else or to gather some ingredients.

I huffed at him.

"You probably don't remember me-"

"No, I remember you. The town you led me to was full of Earth Kingdom criminals that the prisons didn't want to have to deal with," I snapped back.

Zuko stayed quiet after that, which was exactly what I'd hoped he would do. I felt the slim figure of Katara return. I was correct, she'd gone out to get more ingredients.

"Sorry to make you wait, Toph. I just had to get more things for the food," I heard her say.

I waved a dismissive hand. "It's fine."

I heard water swirling and knew she was using her waterbending to stir whatever it was she was making. It still smelled really good, and my stomach growled in its eagerness to taste the food.

What I wanted to do most, though, was yawn, stretch, and go to sleep. I figured it was best if I eat first, then go to sleep, but I really wanted to go lay back down.

"Toph, you look a little tired," Katara observed.

I sat straight up, trying to show her I was fine. Unfortunately, it was too fast, and my already-open wound bled into the bandages. I hunched back over and clenched my belly.

"What's wrong?" Zuko asked.

I let my arms fall to my sides, exposing the blood-stained bandages. I felt the unforgettable coppery taste in my mouth again and spat it out on the ground in front of me. Some of it drizzled down my lower lip and dripped off my chin. I bet that made me look like a gopherbat.

Katara came over and helped me up. Well, actually, I wasn't the one who did any work. The waterbender picked me up bridal style and carried me back to the tent. I really, really hated that tent. And I hated the fact that I was so light she could carry me so easily. At the same time, I was glad to be able to expect another healing session from her.

I was set down and told to try to sit up. I did as I was told. Katara was careful when removing the bandages, and the pain went away as soon as the waterbender's hands came down on my wound.

I spat out some more blood and tried to enjoy not feeling pain in sword wound. Hey, I did this to myself, now I had to pay the price. I had no one to blame but myself for this. I ran away, I killed the baby indirectly, and I stabbed myself with Sokka's meteorite sword.

Katara took her healing hands away and the pain rushed back, causing me to yelp again. I was still bleeding, but not nearly as much. For some reason, I had this strange urge to poke at the hole, just to feel it. I guess I wanted to know what it 'looked' like. And since I couldn't see with my eyes, I had to make do with my other senses, touch being a major one of them. But I knew better. Katara was doing everything she could. I would listen to her and do what she said.

I felt the new, clean bandages start wrapping themselves around my body. I didn't know how many of those things the waterbender had, but she must've stocked up on them at some point when I was asleep. There seemed to be a limitless supply.

I tried to stay awake, I really did, but before Katara could finish patching me up, I leaned forward and was instantly out cold.

For the next few hours, I drifted in and out of consciousness. I wasn't getting sick, I just kept having horrible nightmares. Yeah, they were back. And with a vengeance, I might add. All of them took place in that village. I didn't know why. I was safe now, right? I was back with the group, where I should've been all along.

Katara came running in when I woke up screaming, asking me what was the matter.

I told her about the dreams. They all were images of me in the village. Half had been about me being raped, while the other half had centered around the men who had branded me.

I reached up to trace the scar left on my neck. "Why do I keep having these nightmares?" I asked her. "How am I supposed to sleep when all I can feel is that same pain I felt while I was being branded? Or when I was being raped?" My dreams and nightmares were different from theirs. My dreams and nightmares consisted of vibrations and feelings and sounds, but nothing else since I had no idea what anything actually looked like.

"I think you're just trying to get over the trauma," she answered. "Sometimes the past is painful, and when you try to block it out, it comes back to you in your dreams."

I threw my hands up in anger and frustration. "I don't want it to turn into Sokka's boomerang! I wanted it to go away!"

"Then why don't you talk about and just get it off your chest?" Her voice was motherly and sweet, and she wasn't lying. She truly believed that if I talked about it, it wouldn't haunt me anymore.

"Well...what am I supposed to say?"

"Tell me what you saw in your dream."

"I didn't see anything. When I was in the village, I was blind...literally. The baby's heartbeat was messing with my earthbending, so I couldn't aim and I couldn't use it to sense the vibrations in the ground. But...in each one I felt myself being dragged by someone who said they were one of you guys. Well, not you, Katara, but Aang or Sokka. Then they would pin against a wall so I could hardly move. Then they slid my clothes off, and the next thing I know my body is feeling like it's going to shatter at any moment." I reached up again and traced the mark on my neck. "And if I'm not being raped, then I'm being branded. I can feel myself being blindfolded and thrown into a room or a building. Except I don't know why they blindfolded me because I'm already blind! Suddenly I'm being pinned down again, except on the floor this time. And I'm on my stomach. There are four men. Two of them are holding down my arms while another is holding down my legs. Then I can feel the collar of my shirt being pulled back just enough so that the base of my neck can be seen. Then the fourth man...he has something warm with him. It's hot metal. I can feel it on my skin, and it's burning into my skin. I try to scream, but I can't..."

"Because they gagged you..." Her voice was thoughtful.

I had a confused look on my face.

"Oh, you told us this story once when you thought we weren't who we really are. You thought we were imposters."

Oh, right... "Anyway, I can't scream. I start crying. Then I feel blood run over my neck and it starts collecting around my body. And then I'm thrown out of their building. And then the dream ends."

"It sounds like it was painful."

"It was. Every time I touch this scar, I remember how I felt when I got it. I can still feel the pain from the branding iron, as if it's still on me right now," I said. "It just doesn't make me scream or cry."

I felt her put a hand on my shoulder, as if she was crying for me. I saw no reason to cry; the past was just that...the past. I didn't know why I kept tracing that scar, I just sorta...did.

"Don't worry, Toph. You're okay now. Now, if you're feeling up to it, I made breakfast."

I got up, wincing slightly from the pain in my stomach, and walked calmly out of the tent to eat. The new bandages had a little blood on them, but that was only because I'd been bleeding when Katara had wrapped me up. It made me feel alot like a package or a gift. Or a mummy. Well, the mummy part was kind of cool, that much I had to admit. I still didn't like wearing them, though.

The worst part about the branding was that they didn't even want to keep me. At least there I would have food and water. Granted, I would be a prostitute...but at least I'd have had a better chance of survival. Now that I'd actually given thought to it...was I really that worthless? Even someone that went so far as to kidnap me...even they didn't want me.

I tried to shake the thought out of my head as I ate, but it kept nagging at me. When were all these problems going to end? It was just one thing after another! And nothing ever got solved!

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how true it was. A couple of girls had once told me how dingy I looked. Katara had said I was pretty. She was just being kind to me, trying to make me feel better. No one ever wanted to date me. No boy ever wanted make a move. Only the low-lifes of that horrid criminal village liked me, and that was only because they knew I was blind and couldn't defend myself.

Maybe that was really the point of my dreams. Perhaps that was what I'd been trying to get myself to realize all along. The sick part was that I had to go through all that just to realize I was worthless. I had the scars to prove it; one scar in particular that was very distinctive. I still didn't know what it looked like, but it was the worst scar of them all.

I turned my head toward Kokoro's little underground box. That's when another question hit me: how would I feel about leaving this place? This place was where Kokoro rested. I didn't know if I could abandon it. Yes, I had to train the Avatar. That needed to be my primary goal right now. But...I just didn't know if I could do it anymore. I wasn't the same Toph I used to be. I was...different. Changed, I supposed.

I finished my meal and thanked Katara. I heard her sigh and felt everyone staring at me. They all knew something was wrong. Other than a hole in my gut nothing was physically wrong with me. I just wanted to be that carefree wild child again.

I got up and wanted to earthbend a tent, but knew I couldn't. Having no bending available was truly frustrating... But Aang had been right about one thing...I no longer had the strength or energy to earthbend. I needed to get better by the time Aang finished perfecting all his stances.

So instead of earthbending a tent, I walked over to Kokoro's grave and sat down beside its box. I gently rubbed the ground that covered it. I was happy to see that the grass was extremely soft, yet strong. I hadn't been this close to my baby ever since I'd given birth. In a way, I was happy to be near it. In a way, I was sad to be near it. It was very difficult for any loving mother to be near her dead child, no matter how much she wanted to be near it.

Everyone had their heads turned to me. I didn't care who saw me, though. I loved Kokoro, and I wanted him or her to know it.

I continued rubbing the grass over my child's grave. It felt like I was petting Kokoro's hair. It made me smile just a little, but it wasn't a happy smile. It was a sad smile. It brought tears to my eyes, and I couldn't bring myself to keep rubbing the grass. I took my hand off the ground completely, mentally apologizing to my dead baby for doing so.

I felt a boy come up to me. I didn't know who it was. I doubted it was Zuko, so my natural two guesses were Aang or Sokka.

"You okay?" It was Sokka.

"Why do you keep coming to try to comfort me?" My question to him was a genuine question. I couldn't help but wonder why he did that.

"Oh...well...um...we were just talking and I got bored. Then I saw you up on the little hill where we buried Kokoro." He was lying.

"Please...don't say its name," I begged. It hurt so much to hear a name that couldn't be used. I couldn't help but wonder how much my heart had been torn, how many peices it was in right now.

I felt him turn his head toward the camp, where everyone was staring at us. "HEY! THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE!" He waved both hands as if dismissing a subject.

"Thanks. I was getting tired of them staring at me," I said after feeling the rest of them snap back to what they were doing.

"They're just worried."

"Well, they need to stop worrying. I'm fine."

I felt him pull me into a very possessive hug. "No, Toph," he whispered, "you're not. You ran away and suffered starvation for the longest time. You were beaten. You were forced to drink strange drinks that made you pass out. You became distrustful of everyone around you because of it. You were raped by sick men with really perverted intentions. You were gagged. You were branded."

I started to pull away from the hug, certain I knew what he was going to say next. I didn't want to hear it. He clung tight, though, and I couldn't escape.

"You lost your baby."

Daggers cut through my heart at that one, and I no longer had the energy to escape. I only cried.

"You became so angry with yourself and the world that you tried to kill yourself."

"I know..." I sobbed. "I know... I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do... I just wanted to see my little Kokoro again, that's all..."

He loosened his grip and waited for me to return his hug. I never did.

**A/N**

**Okay...another chapter. Sorry it took so long, I kept trying to keep Toph in-character to a certain degree. Plus, I have my brother lingering over talking about I-dunno-what nonstop! It's very difficult to write this when he gets hyper, which he tends to do alot. **

**I'm exhausted... Please review. I'll update whenever possible.**


	12. Chapter 12

~Chapter 12~

I cursed myself over and over for crying in the arms of Sokka. Of all people, why'd it have to be him? Still...he felt comfortable and I could hear his heart even as I cried. It was mildly comforting. I felt my cheeks getting hot. Why? It wasn't like a fire kind of hot, it was just...really warm. I closed my eyes. I still hadn't returned his hug. I didn't want to. I liked how he was holding me.

I mentally slapped myself. No, he didn't like me like that! I was just his friend, his comrade!

"But what if I want to be something more...?" I murmured so low nobody but me could hear.

"What was that?" Sokka asked.

I clamped a hand over my mouth and my cheeks felt even warmer. By now I understood I blushing.

I shook my head and answered, "Nothing. It was nothing."

"Toph, if there's something on your mind, instead of trying to kill yourself, I'll always be here for you to talk to."

I removed my hand and tilted my head so that my eyes were looking at his face. It was one of those moments where I hated being blind. I wanted to know what he looked like.

"Why are you giving me that stare?" Sokka tentatively asked.

I shifted my weight and turned my head away from him. "So, uh...you and Suki... How are you two doing?"

He let me go. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. "Uh...yeah, we're fine. She's with the other Kyoshi warriors right now. I'm hoping we'll meet up with her sometime soon."

Yeah, I should've figured as much. I reached up to trace the mark on my neck. I could've sworn, that mark still burned. "Suki's a nice girl. I like her."

"Me, too."

Was it too late to go back into the forest and get eaten by a hungry animal? Because that's what I wanted to do right now. I was so sick of awkward conversations. I was so sick of people worrying about me. And I was so sick of wondering whether things were ever going to return to normal.

"Sokka...do you think things will ever go back to the way they were before I got pregnant?" I asked, realizing instantly that he might be able to provide some advice.

I felt his head look down at me. He sighed heavily, unsurely. "I don't think so, Toph. The past can't be undone. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I just wanted to know."

Did that mean the pain in my chest wouldn't go away? Would everyone keep worrying about me? More importantly, would I ever be myself again?

I felt something soft but firm peck my temple, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Everything will turn out the way it should be, okay? I promise," Sokka whispered caringly.

I felt my cheeks grow extremely hot. Did he just...? Was that a...? D-Did Sokka the Oblivious just _kiss_ me? Well, now what was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to kiss him back? Was I supposed to stay put and let him...I dunno! I had no idea what to do! I wasn't experienced! I had no education in this romance field! WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?

After awhile of thinking, I decided to try to forget the kiss. It was probably just a friendly gesture of kindness.

"You really think things will turn out okay?" I asked. I wanted to ask him if he would kiss me again. No one had ever kissed me, they just made fun of my looks and teased at my blindness. I wasn't used to the attention. ...But I liked feeling loved, and I liked knowing someone cared.

I felt him brush my long, shaggy bangs out of my face. "I _know_ they will." I felt his lips make contact with my forehead. "Now, c'mon, let's get back to camp. Everyone's waiting."

He gently took my hand and led me back to camp. Everyone had gotten through eating, but they'd saved some food for us. Being the skinniest, I was the first to receive a bowl of stew. I had no idea what was in the stew, but it wasn't sea prunes, and that was enough for me.

I quickly ate mine, then asked for seconds. Katara was happy to oblige.

"Wow, Toph, you haven't been this hungry since...well...ever," Aang analyzed.

I felt everyone else nod their heads, including Sokka. Suddenly, his opinion mattered alot more to me than ever before.

I swallowed and answered, "I haven't eaten too much in awhile."

-Small Time Skip-

In order to stay within the group, Zuko had taken the liberty of washing the dishes. I didn't know why he wanted to gain everyone's trust all of a sudden. Maybe he'd seen how caring we were toward one another, and didn't want to hurt us. However, I wouldn't put it past him to betray us. He was an enemy, and enemies could not be trusted.

I was back at the tent, at Katara's insistence. She went on and on about my bandages and how important it was that she change them at least three times a day, if not more. She really didn't want me to get an infection. It annoyed me to the extreme, and I eventually gave in.

I went through the entire routine of feeling the rag go lower and lower, telling myself that this time I'd let her clean the wound.

"Wait!" I said, stopping her right before she reached the hurting spot.

"Toph, we've been through this; I need to get this clean."

"I know. Use waterbending to hold me down with ice, and no matter how much I beg or scream, don't let me up until you're done."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. A-Also, if possible, try to make it as painless as you can."

Not a moment later, I felt a wave of water come crashing down on me. It felt good on my sword wound, but the rest of me was freezing. Suddenly the ice around the upper portion of my body disappeared, leaving me wet. Then that water seemed to fly off me, and I was dry. My hands, though, which had been by my sides, were still encased in ice, along with the rest of my lower half.

The damp cloth moved lower and lower and then...BAM! It hit the spot. I tried so so hard not to struggle or scream, but as the blood was torn away from my skin, the wound reopened, and it began to bleed a little. Then more blood was removed, and it began to bleed alot. IT HURT! IT HURT SO BAD!

"KATARA! I WAS WRONG! STOP! IT HURTS!" I screamed. "OOOOWW!"

"I know, I know! I'm trying to do this as fast as I can; just bear with it." Her voice was soothing, but I couldn't be calmed unless this torture ended.

"IT'S BLEEDING! LET ME GO! OOWW! STOP IT! OOOWWWW! IT HURTS!"

"Toph, calm down, you're making a scene."

"I DON'T CARE! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

I heard footsteps coming to investigate, but Katara quickly dismissed whoever it was.

"Toph is half naked," she said calmly.

"DON'T LISTEN TO HER! OOOWW! SAVE ME!"

But the footsteps retreated, leaving me to suffer the agony of having clotted blood removed alone.

"COME BACK! KATARA! THIS IS KILLING ME!"

"It's not killing you. The blood has dirt in it, and that can cause a serious infection."

"OOOOWWWW!"

The cloth was removed, and I thanked whoever was listening. Almost all the pain went away. I could feel fresh blood trying to replace the clotted blood, and some of it trickled down my back.

"Now, all I have to do is the front side of it and you're done."

"Say what?"

"Now, hold on...this might sting a little bit."

I felt her position the cloth over the injury on my belly.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!"

After she was done with that side, I felt like I'd just been waxed forty times over.

"See? It wasn't so bad," she encouraged.

I trembled and blinked my disbelief. I swore one of my eyes was twitching. The ice turned to water and the water up and vanished from my limited field of vision. Any water that was left on me vanished as well. I was now completely dry. But I knew the routine and got in position to get wrapped up in new bandages, which I was. I had to say, it hurt pretty bad when she reached the sword spot, but she tried her best to be careful and make it less painful. I felt the bandages soaking up the blood, but I felt alot cleaner.

Katara tied the knot at my waist and set me free.

I carefully got up and headed outside, where I could 'see'. The ground was solid and hard, just the way I liked it.

Aang was practicing his earthbending stances, which I was pleased to know. I felt him move from mantis to stork, which he had perfected at long last. I needed to show him the snake stance so he could master that.

"Aang!" I called out. He came running up to me. I knew he was hoping I would show him how to do something unspeakably amazing with earthbending, but he was going to be in for a big surprise. "Congratulations on the stork stance. Now it's time to learn the snake stance. This one is a little harder than the stork because unlike all your other stance, it can't be eased into. You have to be quick with the snake stance. Be fast and agile, like a snake. The actual stance itself is easy, but getting into it isn't. So watch carefully, then copy what I do."

I moved quickly. I got into my horse stance. One of my arms reached out, with my fingers looking similar to the fangs of a snake. The other arm reached mid-length of the first, the same hand sign as the first.

"Now, you'll have to be able to get into this one as quick as possible because it's used alot in the more advanced stages of earthbending. So take your time learning it."

Aang tried several times, but couldn't get his hands right.

"Keep practicing. Remember, they don't call it the _snake_ stance for nothing."

-Another Small Time Skip So Deal With It-

I yawned; it was clear to anyone watching how tired I was getting. I guessed it was 'getting dark' as everyone else phrased it. It was always dark in my world; I didn't know why everyone complained about it so much. They _did_ have other sense they could use besides eyesight.

I wanted to scratch at my bandages. They were getting itchy because Katara hadn't changed them in awhile. But she'd strictly forbidden me to scratch anything. Something about infections and how they could be life-threatening. I really didn't listen.

"Um, Toph, are you tired?" Aang asked. He still hadn't gotten the snake stance down yet. I didn't blame him. It took me quite some time to master it. His fingers needed to be spaced exactly right, and that was the part he was having trouble with. I'd gotten stuck on all of it, because I had nobody to teach me advanced stances.

"I'm fine." Sokka's kisses were lingering in my head, but no one could love me. They weren't those kind of kisses, they were friendly kisses. I was more of...a sister at most. I was a tomboy. I'd gotten pregnant at an astonishingly young age. And furthermore, I'd lost my virginity at at the same age. To top that, I was blind. No one could compliment my eyes or tell what I was thinking. No one could follow my 'line of sight', because I didn't have one of those. I was ugly and useless and unlovable. Maybe that was why I was looking forward to being a mother so much...because I knew I would never have another chance. And then I went and blew it. I messed it all up and Kokoro paid the price.

I went over to Kokoro's grave, its burial grounds. I hated how many looks I received, but this was my precious, irreplaceable little baby. Spending time with and acknowledging my deceased child was the very least I could do, given that I was the one who killed it. It was murder... I murdered my own flesh and blood!

I pulled my knees up close to me and let the wind caress my skin. I let one of my hands roam over the grass that blanketed Kokoro. It was like the ground was trying to keep my baby warm.

Someone must've said something, because all heads snapped back to wherever...other than on me. Well, all except one head. I guessed it was Sokka's. And I was right.

He came up to me, very concerned. "Toph, we don't like it when you're sad..."

I carefully set myself beside the box underground. "You always come up here...but whenever you do, I end up crying my heart out. Are you going to tell me to go back to camp again?"

"Toph...I know love hurts sometimes, but you won't show any emotion at all, even anger."

I turned to my side, my back facing him. But he just sat down, as if I hadn't just rejected his company.

I felt his hand rub my side ever so gently.

"I think I know how you feel. Maybe I don't know much about children or raising them and especially not losing them. But I've lost people I've loved before. It hurts, doesn't it? I tried so hard to act strong when my mother died. All I was doing was holding back my feelings, though. It made it that much harder to get over her death. Katara tried to tell me that holding it in wasn't good for me, that I should just let it all out. I didn't take her advice. Then one night, I could hold anything back anymore. I cried for days on end. I was so angry and sad and hurt. I was mad at myself for not being able to protect her. I felt like I'd made a mistake in my life. And you know, sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I'd tried to protect her. I realized that I probably would have died. I guess what I'm trying to say is...everything happens for a reason," he said, his hand not stopping its comforting motions.

I turned on my stomach and felt his heart speed up when he accidentally petted my belly. He removed his hand.

"You said everything would turn out okay. I...I just can't believe that anymore," I said truthfully.

"It will, Toph. Just wait; you'll see. Maybe...just maybe..." I felt him lean closer to me, "...it'll turn out sooner than you expected."

"But will it turn out good?"

He leaned very near my face, but I wasn't scared. I trusted him, but sometimes I just couldn't believe his words. I could feel his breath mixing with mine as he answered me. It made my heart do flip-flops in my chest, turning me into a lovesick little girl.

"It might just turn out better than you thought..." he whispered.

I felt his lips press against mine. His lips were calm and cool, whereas mine must've been nervous and unknowing. Could this be passed off as a friendship kiss?

I closed my eyes, pursed my lips, and enjoyed the sensation of Sokka's affection. No...this was a real kiss! I never thought I could be loved! It was like a fairytale come to life!

I felt something wet swipe by my lower lip. It took me a few moments to realize it was Sokka, asking permission to deepen the kiss. I didn't know what to do next, and thankfully, I didn't need to. My body pretty much took control. I opened my mouth a little bit, and Sokka's tongue swept in for a visit. Our tongues were soon wrestling each other passionately. Sokka's tongue was strong, I would admit, but I fought for control. This little battle of ours went on until we both ran clean out of oxygen. Our tongues called a truce and we both retreated from the kiss, panting like a platypusbear that had been underwater too long.

"Wow, Snoozles..." I awed once I got my breath back. "That...that wasn't a friendship kiss, was it?"

He laughed, causing all heads back at camp to turn towards us. Thankfully, they couldn't see my heated cheeks. I no longer minded if Sokka saw, but they couldn't. My girly side was to be reserved for Snoozles and Snoozles only.

Sokka yelled at them, saying I needed my privacy and all that. Their head turned back to each other and they resisted looking back at us.

Then he focused his attention on me, which I really liked at this point. His attention had to be the best attention of the entire group, probably of the entire world. "It wasn't a friendship kiss, and neither were the first two I gave you."

And then the thought of Suki hit me. "But what about Suki?"

"Our relationship was never really that solid. And now I think of her as more of a friend."

"But what about meeting up with her soon?"

"I wanted to talk to her, that's all. I wanted to make sure she knew we weren't together anymore."

"So you wanted to break up with her?"

"Basically," he confirmed.

"But why? Suki's nice and sweet and girly." Not that I didn't want Sokka to break up with her, but I had to know if he had any particular reason.

"Well, I wanted to be with you. I just wasn't quite sure if you felt the same way about me," he replied. Then he chuckled and said, "But judging from the way you kissed me, I'd say you want it as much as I do!"

"Hey! I didn't kiss you!" I snapped. "You kissed me!"

"But you _let_ me kiss you, and that's all the invitation I needed."

My whole face grew even more heated. His voice was so calm and collected, like he knew exactly what he was doing. I had no idea what I was doing. This was the first time I'd ever been a relationship. However, from what I'd heard, Sokka had been in two.

My personality told me to say something back, but I didn't know what to say. So I said the first thing that came to mind. "So...was I a good kisser?"

"Actually, yes. No girl I've ever kissed made my heart jump, not like you just did."

"You know," I said as a new thought just hit me, "we'll have to keep this a secret from Aang and your sister. Zuko, too."

"Why? Are you already embarrassed of me?"

"No, not that. Aang needs to master earthbending, but to it, he can't have any distractions. It takes alot of focus to master earthbending. Katara's his waterbending master, and I'm not allowed to interrupt their training. If she finds out, I'm certain she'll blab to him at one point or another, whether she means to or not. And Zuko...well... Zuko might find weakness in this whole thing. I still don't trust him," I explained, carefully choosing each word.

"So what you're saying is...we have to have secret meetings." He paused, as if in deep thought. "You know what? I kinda like that idea. From now on we're secret lovers. I guess during the daytime we can act normal, then at night we can do whatever we want."

I nodded my head and my lips curved into a smirk. Secret lovers, huh? I loved it; it sounded dangerous.

**A/N**

**Yay! Sappy romance! Hope you guys like Tokka, because these two lovebirds are finally taking flight! And has anyone but me noticed that in this story, I don't make Sokka a drunk idiot or a completely oblivious freak of nature? Though, I have to say, I'm pretty sure he was a little OOCish. Oh well, it's my story and if I want unicorns to come in and start killing cyborgs, I can make it happen. Um...yeah, that's all I got to say for now.**

**Read, review, adopt a puppy from the nearest pound (or I'll eat you), read a good book, write a story of your own, start/stop fighting with the imaginary person trapped inside your head, and haveanicedayoranevilone!**


	13. Chapter 13

~Chapter 13~

I sighed in relief as Katara finished wrapping me up for the night. She didn't try to clean the wound; she'd done that yesterday. After she was done she wordlessly got up and walked out of the tent. I was healing quickly, at least that's what she kept saying.

Things had been going very smoothly for me and Snoozles. Yes, Snoozles. I called him Sokka during the day, but at night, after everyone went to sleep, I let my affectionate side out...but only for him. It was so stupid how he kept forgetting I was blind; he'd once dragged me all the way to a cliff just to see the moon, which he called Yue. I found it adorable, though. No one found out about our secret rendezvous. We both kept our lips sealed. I was just as snarky toward him as I was toward everyone else. I still punched his shoulder as hard as I possibly could, which was enough for him to fall over and obtain a bruise the next day. I still picked at him and called him names. I even returned to my old ways of making fun of his crappy artwork by telling him how amazing it looked.

But that was my big mistake. I'd pretty much returned to normal, despite being down every few days. Everyone was wondering why I'd all of a sudden gone back to my usual antics and sarcastic comments. They were wondering why I suddenly wanted to train Aang by having him fight me instead of just showing him how it was done and moving on, like I'd been doing. And they were wondering most of all where I had been sneaking off to at night.

Yeah, that's right. Katara had pointed out to me that I seemed to be sleeping in later and later. For Sokka, sleeping in to any time was normal. As for me, I usually woke up around...well...apparently it was known as 'dawn'. Now I slept until the sun was at its warmest. I was told this was called 'midday'. Even when I woke up that late in the day, I was still sleepy. But I just couldn't give up my special nights with Snoozles.

It had resulted with me slowly becoming a creature of the night.

As for my relationship with Sokka... I found him funny, in his own sarcastic way. He was exciting to be around, even more so since we couldn't risk getting caught. He was cute. He tried so hard to make me laugh. I knew he wanted me to be happy. He'd told me on several occasions that he liked my eyes. I never thought it possible to like my eyes. I told him I wished I knew what his eyes looked like so I could say the same to him. He just laughed and said it was fine. He seemed to really enjoy being with me, and I really enjoyed being with him.

"Toph," Snoozles whispered to me, "Everyone's asleep; wanna do something?"

I put a finger to his lips and grinned slyly. "Ah, ah, ah... You know you have to pay a fee first."

I felt certain face muscles tense, and knew he was smiling. I loved being able to make him smile. "I was getting to that part."

I pointed to forehead. He leaned over and cupped my face with his hands. One of his fingers moved aside a bit of hair and he gave me a sweet little peck. I didn't smile. I pointed to my cheek next. He moved more hair and pecked me there, too. I still didn't smile. I pointed to my lips. He pecked me on my lips. I smiled.

He knew my routine all too well. Every night, before we would sneak away, he had to give me three little kisses before I would follow him anywhere. And I got to choose where he kissed me at. If he didn't kiss me exactly where I pointed toward, we had to start all over until he got it right.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the tent. Since he'd already 'paid his fee', I was more than happy to follow. Having him guiding me somewhere made me feel all giddy inside. I loved it! It was exhilarating!

"Aw, Sokka, we've already been here a million times," I said in fake disappointment as he led me to a cliff.

"I know, but it never gets old!" he replied excitedly.

I doubted it was the cliff that was exciting him. I bet it was me; he acted this way whenever we went out. We'd strayed a long ways from camp before and almost hadn't made it back before everyone else woke up one time.

Now it was my turn to do Sokka's routine.

The warrior sat down, his legs hanging over the cliff's ledge. I had already told him it was sturdy enough to hold at least ten flying sky bison, therefore he insisted on trying to be as absolutely romantic as possible. I came over next and sat on his lap, my own legs hanging over the cliff. I leaned against his chest, something he seemed to want me to do. Since my feet were dangling in the air, I couldn't see, so Snoozles took it upon himself to lift my head and direct me to his mouth. Our tongues began to fight quite lovingly for dominance. Sokka's tongue was the perfect embodiment of himself. It liked to retreat far back into his mouth to tease me, to make me chase after it. I never chased it, because I knew what it would do next. It always did a little sneak attack. It waited a few seconds, then it shot out and the battling would continue. He made the kisses fun by doing little stunts like that.

We parted for air and while we were recovering our breath, I nuzzled into Sokka's neck. It was the first time I'd ever done that, and I received a surprised look from him. He quickly got over it, though, and rested his head on mine. We both savored the sweet moment we had together.

And then Sokka did something just plain...weird.

"You wanna play 'I Spy'?" he asked.

"You brought me all the way out here to play a child's game?" I replied, both confused and disappointed.

"Why not? It's a great way to pass time!"

I sighed heavily and said, "Fine, but I go first." I got out of Sokka's lap and flopped on the ground, unable to believe he dragged me to a cliff...just to ask me that. "I spy with my little foot...something tall."

He laid down beside me and I assumed he was looking around. "Um...is it a tree?"

"No."

"Is it a..." he trailed off. "Uh...is it the cliff?"

"Yep; your turn."

"Okay. I spy with my little eye...something that can earthbend."

"Huh?"

"And this something is blind, but it can see."

I was caught up now... "Hum...I might need a little more detail..."

I felt him smile. "It makes me really happy whenever I'm around it."

"Nope, still having trouble."

He pulled close to him and said, "It's the most beautiful, amazing thing in the world. I would sacrifice my life to save it...that is, if it ever needed saving. And its personality is just awesome. And I love it with all my heart. I would do anything to make it happy."

I couldn't hold back my smile. "Sokka...do you really mean all that?"

"I mean every word. And I always will."

I was thankful that on the ground my height didn't matter, because I usually could just barely manage to kiss Sokka unless he bent down a little. I pulled myself up to his face and started the neverending Battle of the Tongues, a kiss we both deeply enjoyed.

He parted before we ran out of air. "You know, since you never actually guessed the object I was talking about, that means I win."

"Well, it _better_ be me."

He laughed warmly and answered, "Who else would I be talking about? Oh! That's right! I wanted to ask you something just...out of curiosity."

"Go ahead, ask me anything."

"It's about your eyes."

"My eyes?"

"I've never seen you move them before. I was just wondering...uh... Is that all part of being blind, or do you just not want to move them?"

"I don't move them because even if I look to my left or to my right or up or down, I don't see anything. So, yeah, it's probably all part of being blind."

What an odd question...

We went back to camp once we got tired.

I hated that stupid tent that Katara had set up. I needed my awesome, super-cool, super-bendable earth tent again!

I sat on the ground beside Katara's medical tent and with one motion of my arms, raised two slabs of rock from the ground. The were placed diagonally and met at the tips, forming a perfect earth tent. Before I could close it up and seal it off, Sokka stopped me.

"Wait a second, Toph."

I put my arms down and turned toward him. Turning toward someone wasn't something I needed to do, but it let them know I was listening. "Yeah?"

"Mind squeezing me in there with you?"

My face heated up. "What? Snoozles, we might-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. We could get caught and all that. It's just...I don't like not seeing you for hours on end."

It was a risky decision, since we both slept in pretty late now that we started...erm...sorta dating. But I considered him my boyfriend. He loved me; I loved him just as much. We could get caught just by sneaking off at night, and this heightened the chances. I kind of liked it.

I motioned for him to come inside.

He grabbed his sleeping bag and laid down at the right side of the tent.

I made one swift hand movement and the tent was sealed off by two triangular slabs of rock.

During the night, Sokka didn't try anything. Neither did I. I'd had enough sex to last me more than one lifetime, and all of it had been rough and forced and harsh. I was grateful that he kept his distance while we both tried to sleep.

* * *

Sokka woke up to something smacking him in the face. He sat up quickly, finding himself in the middle of the tent his girlfriend had earthbent. He'd fallen asleep on the far left side of the tent, meaning he'd moved from the left to the middle in his sleep. Weird...

Toph's foot kicked him again.

Half her leg was on his chest, and the rest of her thought it was a falcon. She was laying face-down, on her belly. Her arms were spread out as far as her small body would allow, and her hair was an absolute disaster. Momo would easily be able to hide in it, but then he'd suffocate on all the dirt and bits of rocks that had gotten tangled up in it. It was a true wonder she didn't have ticklice, the way she slept.

The Water Tribe warrior heard Toph mumbling and saw the outlines of her little frame trembling. She was dreaming, but about what? He pushed her leg off, which had no effect whatsoever on the sleeping earthbender, and moved up forward to try and decipher her muffled words.

It wasn't very hard; she must've been screaming in her dream.

"Sokka, don't do it...don't let him take me away..." She sniffled and sobbed, "He'll do bad things to me...don't leave me..."

Already, Sokka had heard enough of his girlfriend's dream. He had a pretty good idea of what was happening in it. He shook her shoulder gently at first, but when she didn't respond at all and instead kept mumbling, he shook her harder.

"Toph," he whispered, "Toph, wake up. It's a dream; it's not real. I'm right here. Toph. Toph."

"SOKKA!" she screamed suddenly. She didn't waste any time in getting up to feel her surroundings. Once she realized she was back in her earth tent, she calmed down. Then she remembered Sokka's presence. "I had a bad dream, that's all." Her breathing was still uneven and rough, like she'd been running for a long time.

* * *

I felt Sokka crawl beside me and plant little butterfly kisses on my temples and cheeks. They felt reassuring, like he was trying to tell me everything was going to be okay.

"It's okay, Toph. I'm not gonna abandon you...ever," he said.

I nodded and tried to stop crying, which I just now realized I was doing. I really couldn't. In my dream, a man was trying to take me away. I couldn't see the man's face. Then Sokka was right in front of me, but he didn't do anything. He just stood there, as if nothing was happening. Then he saw Suki, who had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and went to go talk to her. I was left to suffer alone.

I turned and, feeling weak and helpless, buried myself in his chest. Suddenly I was glad he was there with me. I was lucky to have him as my boyfriend.

He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed just a little, as though he was afraid I would break.

"C'mon, now, it was only a dream. I would never leave you in real life. Let's get some sleep, and this time, dream about me in a more pleasant way."

"What? How'd you know what I was dreaming about?"

I heard him snort and punched him in the arm. He grunted his pain, but I felt him smile. "Someone decided to get a little chatty in their sleep."

"I don't talk in my sleep."

"Then how'd I know about your dream?"

I punched him in the arm again. "Lucky guess."

"Twice? Really?" he groaned.

"I can't help it if your arm is a good practice dummy," I teased.

"You know what this means for you, don't you?"

"You're gonna punch me back? Oh, please, Snoozles...don't hurt me!" My voice was trickling with sarcasm.

"It means you owe me. You have to sleep next to me for the rest of the night." He smirked in the same way that I would usually smirk.

I chuckled but laid down and snuggled up to him. What could I say? I was a sucker for romance. Especially his kind of romance.

"You pick the best punishments, you know that, Snoozles?" I said.

I felt him kiss my forehead before rolling over and putting a protective arm around me. I already felt myself drifting away from my body. I knew in the morning I wouldn't be by his side or in his arms, I'd be somewhere else in the tent, all sprawled out. Yeah, I probably wasn't the easiest person to sleep next to...

**A/N**

**Hooray for Tokka fluff! C'mon, you all know it rocks... :3 **

**Yes, this chapter was in fact a time skip. **

**No, nothing much was supposed to happen in this chapter. It's all crappy writing and fluffy fluffiness. **

**Also...seriously? Two reviews on the last chapter? WHEN THEY SHARED THEIR FIRST KISS? Honestly, I don't get you guys... Ah, well, enjoy the upcoming chapters, if I can manage to stop writing so horribly and stop having chronic writer's block.**

**Haveanicedayoranevilone!**


	14. Chapter 14

~Chapter 14~

_I couldn't earthbend. I was helpless and useless. I couldn't see, couldn't fight, and couldn't defend. I was alone and scared._

_I heard footsteps coming towards me; nearer and nearer. I gulped and tried not to show my fear. I was brave, I was strong, I was Toph. I was the Blind Bandit, the greatest earthbender in the whole world and the only one who could bend metal. I had an image to maintain._

_I didn't know who or what was coming._

_They stopped just inches from me, and I wanted to get in an earthbending stance to try to fight them, but I was petrified. My fear was paralyzing my body. I couldn't control myself._

_They knocked me down, as if hoping for more of a challenge._

_I curled into a ball and tensed up. I knew what this was. I knew what would happen next. I would be beaten by a drunk idiot, then probably raped as well._

_I felt wetness roll down my cheeks, and didn't care. Maybe if he saw what he was doing to me...if he knew how he was making me feel...maybe, just maybe...he would stop before he started._

_I scurried away from whoever it was, not really that eager to find out if he was friend or foe. But I was stopped by what felt like a wooden barrier. No...it wasn't a barrier, nor was it placed here to stop me. It was a wooden wall. I was in an alley! I was being backed into a corner!_

_"Don't hurt me!" I begged. "Please!"_

_I felt the tip of his shoe ram into my stomach. It hurt so badly I doubled over in pain._

_"Why are you doing this? What did I do to deserve this?"_

_The evil man just laughed and kicked me again, harder this time._

_I curled back up into a ball as my only means of defense. All I had to do was wait this out...if I lived through it._

_I felt him yank the collar of my shirt and lift me up, half choking me in the process. Instinctively, my hands reached out to grab his, trying to pry his hands off my throat. I couldn't do it. _

I shot up and hit my head on the side of the tent. Or...no, wait...it wasn't the side of the tent, but it was just as hard. It was Sokka's head. I'd headbutted Sokka. From what I could feel, he had been holding me down and trying to wake me up again. I must've been doing something in my sleep that gave away my distressed state.

I tried to put a hand up to my forehead only to find that my arms wouldn't move.

"Toph, are you awake?" Sokka whispered.

I nodded and opened my eyes to prove to him I was conscious. "What happened?" I mumbled. "Why are you on top of me?"

"You freaked out in your sleep. I tried to calm you down, but you wouldn't wake up. You kept raising your arms, like you were trying to shield yourself from something. And you were sweating like crazy and crying and you kept screaming. When I finally got you in this position, I had to sit on top of you just to hold you down. And even then it was hard because you kept squirming so much. I don't know why you didn't wake up from all that," he supplied.

He got off of me and let me sit up.

"Is something on your mind, Toph?" he asked.

"No, I just keep having these nightmares about that village."

"How often are you having these things?"

"Almost every night. But this is the first time I've ever woken to someone sitting on me because of it."

There was a strange silence for a few moments, then Sokka summoned up the courage to ask, "What exactly happened to you in that village?"

I breathed in and out. "Basically...I was raped and beaten, over and over and over."

I wiped away my wet, salty tear trails.

"I don't...I don't want to think of what happened..." he said. "I wish I'd gotten to you sooner, Toph... I'm so sorry..."

I wished he'd gotten there, too. I hated that village and all its residents. That place was evil, pure evil. What had I done to deserve all that punishment, anyway? I hadn't killed anyone! I hadn't done anything wrong!

I felt Sokka pull me extremely close to him. He said, "Toph, I promise you, I'll never let something like that happen to you again. Not under my watch."

I fell back asleep like that, with him holding me so close to him.

When I woke up the next day, or what I assumed to be day, Sokka was gone. I didn't know how he got out of my earth tent, nor did I care. I was sleepy and tired. But then...I was like that every morning.

I yawned and pushed my rocks back into the ground in one quick motion. I passed by everyone's empty tents, including Sokka and Aang's, as if nothing had happened last night.

I felt everyone around the fire. The fire was dying, that is, until Zuko lent a hand in lighting it again. Soon fiery, wild, but also soft vibrations pulsed against my feet. The wound on my side had just about healed all the way. Katara was even going to let me wear my normal clothes. I was looking forward to that.

"Hey, Toph, we need some more supplies before we get going," I heard someone say. I couldn't identify who said it. We were leaving? But...why? Oh...of course...Aang's 'Avatar journey'. Right...

"We need to go back to that village, though. There are miles and miles of forest and it'll take at least a day to get out, even with Appa's help. You wanna stay here and have us pick you up before we go?" It was Katara.

"No, I'll be fine going with you. We can get out of the forest quicker if we don't stop to get me," I answered.

I could tell everyone was worried about me and how I would react when I got to that horrible place, but I was confident that I would be fine.

But that was only how I felt when I was on solid land, where I could see. When I got on Appa, I started getting a little bit nervous. Then when we got in the sky, I got even more jumpy. Then we landed about a meter away from the village... I was practically a wreck. But I pushed it aside, somehow, and walked toward the town that punished me for...well...uh...something, I supposed. It _had_ to be punishment. Why else would I be tortured so mercilessly?

I stiffened as soon as I stepped foot in the village. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. Suddenly all these memories came rushing back to me in one fell swoop. All the brutal things I'd endured...especially being branded. Now I was back where it all happened, where it all took place, where I just barely got by with my life.

I felt the uncontrollable urge to find shelter. I _had_ to find a wooden building. I needed to follow it. Granted, I could 'see' now, but...what was wrong with me?

My body moved of its own accord. I bit my lip so hard it started bleeding in three seconds. I felt no pain. Like a mindless zombie, a drone of the undead, I walked seemingly calmly to the nearest wall, feeling for the comfort of wood. I shuddered slightly at the feeling of wood under my hands, but it brought only the littlest bit of comfort. I pressed myself against it and slumped down, not exactly sure why.

I felt my heart skip a beat and I instinctively held my breath when I felt someone coming.

"Toph, you okay?" Sokka asked.

My mouth was dry and there was a knot in my throat that prevented me from speaking. I just nodded a little, and he left to go back wherever he came from. I didn't bother to feel for them; my focus was on the senses I used here the first time I came here. Hearing and touch, mainly, were my senses that I could use most. So naturally, I had to go with them.

But my earthbending was still in effect.

Two people...no, two men...were peeking at me from around the corner of the building. They drew their heads back, and I tried to listen in.

"Hey, isn't that the blind girl we got?" one of them said.

"Looks like she's gained a little weight. She looks ten times better than before," the other observed.

"Think anyone will pay now that she looks this good? The boss might want her back, and...well, she's already been branded."

My eyes widened in fear. I couldn't relive that, I couldn't go back there!

I didn't even realize I was running until I was far away from my friends. I must've been going ten times faster than Appa at his full speed in the sky! I couldn't even feel them anymore! Come to think of it...I couldn't even feel the forest anymore. Where was I? I was...I was lost again. Oh, no...I was lost again!

* * *

Sokka turned to see two very buff men lingering around where Toph had just been. Glancing quickly in every direction before jumping to conclusions, he couldn't find her. His girlfriend was missing, and he was sure they knew, or at least had a good idea, of where she'd gone.

He walked cautiously up to them. If they were wielding some kind of weapon, he would be at a great disadvantage.

"Have you guys seen a blind girl around here? I'm trying to find her," he said.

Both of them turned to look at him and grinned slyly.

"Well, well..." the first one said, "Is she really that good-looking? We might be able to help you...for a price." The man rubbed his fingers together.

Anger crossed the warrior's face. "She's missing! She ran away! Do you know where she's at or not?"

This time, the second man laughed and spoke. "You're pretty young, but I wouldn't blame you. She's a looker. We think she went that way." The man pointed down a long walkway that led directly to the heart of the town. "But if you find her, be sure to check the mark on her neck."

A puzzled feeling came over Sokka. The mark on her neck? What did that mean? Was it a riddle? Did she run away to a club or something? The mark on her neck, the mark on her neck... It sounded so familiar... The mark on her neck... A mark...and it was on her neck...but he had to check it...? His eyes widened as realization hit him.

"The mark is the brand! YOU TWO BRANDED TOPH!" he screamed, fury seething inside his very soul.

Both of them jerked back slightly at the scream, not prepared for all the noise. But then they shook their heads.

"Nah, we just held her down," one of them said, as if it was no big deal. "Our boss said she was worthless, so we were obliged to throw her out. But seeing how great she looks, I'm sure he'll think twice about it. People will pay _big_ money for her!"

"WHAT?" The Water Tribe warrior pulled his sword from its sheath and held it up to one of the men's throats, pushing him against the wall and not letting either of them make a move. "Why would you do such a horrible thing to such an innocent girl? She has nightmares every night about this village and she didn't even want to come here!"

The victim of Sokka's sword raised his hands in defense and answered, "I-It's our job! I swear! Besides, the pain doesn't last long! It's like branding an ostrichhorse!"

"NO, IT'S NOT!" he yelled. "You two are disgusting! I'm going to find Toph for reasons that apparently, you can't understand!"

With that, Sokka released his hold on the man and sheathed his sword. He wouldn't kill anyone, not even these men. They could rot in this place; it was a much more severe punishment. He went on his way to find the lost earthbender.

* * *

I crouched against an alley, hoping that the person I felt coming toward me would simply pass by. I huddled up in my defensive ball, as close in my little corner as possible. I felt myself trembling uncontrollably. I had to stop, otherwise, this person might notice me. But I couldn't stop.

The next thing I know, a knife is right in front of my face, stuck in the wall next me. This guy had magnificent aim.

The man was coming closer, but the only thing I could do was stiffen and hope for the worst...because I'd been through worse than the worst.

He stopped just two feet away from me.

"Undress," he mumbled roughly.

I couldn't bring myself to move. I just lowered my head and prepared for a beating. And sure enough, the heel of his shoe came ramming into my side. I endured it, with only tears to show for my disobedience.

"Do as I say," he grunted in my ear. "I might let you off with nothing more than a few bruises."

My body was extremely stiff from my muscles' tension. I managed only to get up. However, from there on out, my body was nothing more than one giant weight. I felt heavy and weak.

He punched my face, harder than many of those before him. No teeth came out, thankfully, but it hurt so bad. "I said to undress. Do it."

I tried really hard to regain control over my body. But it was so stiff and tense...I just couldn't do it. I was too scared. My heart was racing against something invisible, but apparently it didn't think it was winning the race, because it kept beating faster and faster and faster and harder and harder and harder. I thought it was going to explode at any moment. Part of me hoped it would, that way I wouldn't have to deal with this.

Hands wrapped themselves around my throat and squeezed. My airway was being constricted and I couldn't breathe. I desperately tried to gasp for air, for anything, but I couldn't. I tried to scream for help, but I couldn't. All that came out were these weird strangled sounds. He lifted me up off the ground. The weight of my own body hurt my spine. And...strangely, my ribs. It was impossible to get more scared than I was at this moment.

"Toph! LET GO OF HER!" a voice shouted.

I felt a huge blast of wind and the man's hands were off my neck. I collapsed on the ground and sucked in as much oxygen as I possibly could. It felt good to breathe again. I could actually _feel_ the oxygen refreshing my body. It was alot like being thirsty for an extended period of time, then drinking fresh water.

I felt the man run away and then I felt someone land extremely lightly on the ground, causing almost no vibrations. But being a master earthbender, I caught the ones he managed to make.

I ran up to Aang and clutched his shirt with one hand, trying to assure myself that it was an actual person and not a hallucination or a dream.

"Toph, why didn't you earthbend?" he asked me.

I tensed slightly and shook my head. I did start crying, because I hadn't ever stopped crying.

He picked me up. I had to hold onto him unless I wanted to be dropped. He couldn't use his glider unless all limbs were on it. And I couldn't really be on his back, because that's where his glider rested. So I wrapped my arms and legs around his front and held on as tightly as I could.

He took off and for some reason, I never calmed down. Even when he landed, I wasn't calm. I was still crying my eyes out, my body wouldn't relax itself, my mind was still turbulent, and I was still shaking like crazy.

I heard footsteps and knew immediately that Katara, Sokka, and Zuko had surrounded us to see how I was doing. Well, now they knew.

"Um, Toph...you can get off now," Aang told me.

I knew that, but I couldn't control myself. My arms and legs were already as tightly wrapped around him as they could get, and they didn't seem to want to release him just yet.

"Toph? Hey, Toph? Hello?" Every person tried to get my attention, but I just couldn't answer them.

"Oh, man...I knew it! I _knew_ it had to go deeper!" Katara suddenly said.

I felt Aang give her a confused look. I figured everyone else was doing the same.

"She's in a catatonic state. She's not going to move on her own," she said. "I knew there had to be some kind of psychological damage dealt."

"What? But Toph wanted to come," Aang said. "She said so herself."

"Yeah, to prove she's not worthless," Katara quipped. "But look at her now. She's traumatized by this village!"

"Uh...speaking of traumatized... Can someone please get her off me now?" It was pretty obvious who spoke there.

"I can help," Zuko said bluntly.

I heard footsteps walk up to me and right after, arms wrapped around my waist. I felt someone, most likely Zuko, pull. I tried to let go of Aang, but I couldn't. And my mind...I could hardly comprehend what they were talking about. This village...that was all I could really think about.

"I could use a little help, Sokka..." the firebender grunted.

Aang was standing his ground, trying with all his power _not_ to be pulled with me. "Zuko, this kinda hurts... She's pulling my spine!"

Sokka came up from behind Zuko and wrapped his arms around his waist. It was like a chain now. I really tried to let go of Aang, but I found myself unable to.

After awhile, Zuko moved up from my belly to my ribs. He only had to pull once, and I let go with a loud yelp of pain. I fell to the ground, still in my catatonic state. My muscles were still tensed and I couldn't move. It was so much like being paralyzed.

After just a few more seconds, my arms and legs collapsed and I could move again.

"Why'd you scream out like that?" Zuko asked.

I didn't answer him. My heart was ready to burst out of my chest. My tears were still streaking down my face. I curled up into a ball and waited for the signal that said we could leave this place. This horrid, evil place...

**A/N**

**Yay! Better chapter, hopefully! Sorry for the slow update, guys, but fanfiction was having technical difficulties. Their editing system went haywire on me and I couldn't update ANY of my stories, let alone this one. So enjoy this chapter and the next!**

**The usual, R&R&stuff.**


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